DISQUS

TipperJ · 1 year ago

GET OUT NOW. As a person who has seen this before, a happier you makes happier children. There are male role models out there, and as for you, you can date again, it just takes time.

Stephanie · 1 year ago

Wow, you need to leave him now. Yes you are 28 and have 2 kids but that's exactly it you are 28 and now 38 or older. Do you still want to be saying this then? You should not feel guilty and base on what you said u are staying for all the wrong reasons. And don't listen to his mama, does she know all the shit he done to be telling u that + even if she did, she's he's momma what else would she say? Leave girl please.

SexxyNay · 1 year ago

First Of All Anykind Of Abuse In A Relationship Is Not Koo. Cheating, Lying, Obession WTF Brotha Man Got Way To Much Goin On 2 Be So Young. Drop Em Its Not Like The Kids Wont Ever See Him Again. Why Walk Around With That On Your Plate If You Cant Be Real With Somebody You Shearin Sheets With Then Yall Dont Need To Be Sharing Sheets If You Cant Be Happy With Yourself Do You Really Think Your Making Him Happy

ionned · 1 year ago

Take it from someone who has been in EXACTLY the same position as you - LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK! I was 16 years old when I began dating the father of my two children and I allowed him to physically, mentally and emotionally abuse me for 14 years. He dangled marriage in front of me like a carrot because he knew I wanted a family. Thank god I never married him. What kind of fool would he have been if he thought he owned me? I didn't want to leave for the sake of the children, but I was MISERABLE! He cheated and I looked the other way. He had a child by another woman towards the end of our relationship and I almost lost my mind. He did exactly what you said - he got me at a young age and brainwashed me. I had the nerve to realize that I deserved better. Your children will not be without a father and they will be in a happier place when you are. I left for the last time and you know what? All the tricks and guilt that he tried NO LONGER WORKED! I started dating again at the age of 31 and I am now 34 with a man who wants to marry me, who respects me, loves me and my children and would never lay a hand on me. The ex taught me what NOT to deal with and I hope you get the same courage that I found to leave for good!

christina · 1 year ago

men only do what you allow them to, and i have no remorse. To say you want to stay for the children is a cop out, you should know that they are better off with you two being separated, b/c that equals a happier you. just because you 2 arent in the same home doesnt mean they will not grow up feeling loved and happy..and thank god you didnt marry him!

yes · 1 year ago

wtf is wrong with this broad?

VIChick · 1 year ago

I listened to the show and I honestly feel that she is making excuses not to leave. She stated she has never been in any other relationship than this guy, so she knows his tendancies and might be afraid of change. She was also saying that she doesn't want to break up her family. She is using those kids as a scap goat and feeling she is doing it for them but she is only harming those children. Some women decides to leave when it gets too late, and I don't want anything to happen to the point where she says I wish I should have left sooner. She is putting herself and her kids in harms way. She will leave when she decides " I have had enough", but right now I dont think she is ready.

If you love your kids and yourself YOU WOULD GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE!!!!

ZeeABad1 · 1 year ago

Getta Blues Clue!

StraightShitNoChaser · 1 year ago

You know I can't believe that women are even still sending emails out like this. Lady, have you been to Whataboutourdaughters.com? So many black women today are being abused and killed by the men in their lives it's staggering.

You say you don't want your kids to grow up without a father? Well at this rate honey they might grow up without a mother with YOU DEAD and their "father" in jail. Then they'll be statistics and in the system. It's not fair to them. You have to love your kids MORE than you love yourself and that asshole you call a man. You are teaching them the wrong thing and you are dead wrong for that. Your kids come first. Who the hell cares if he's the only man you've had in x amount of years. You'd better get your mind right and take care of those kids. I don't want to sound harsh, honey, but this is tough love talking.

I HOPE that you pay attention to my words. I'm a mom myself. If you don't have ANYTHING or ANYONE else in this world, you have your kids and you take care of them first. There is a man out there for you that will love you and be happy to step up and be kind and there for your kids. We don't live in the 50s anymore. Some guys are coming into relationships with their own kids they are taking care of.

GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT. There is no working this out, there is no nothing. GET out. IF he's cheating on you, have you thought about contracting an STD? HIV/AIDS are lethal.

No man in this WORLD is worth this much trouble. God didn't put you on this earth to live this way or to force your kids to suffer for you guys' mistakes. Get your grown woman on, get help, move away, get a knife, some pepper spray, tell the males you trust in your family and in friendships about this bastards, and keep faith in God.

I'd cut his ass my damned self.

kingsmomma · 1 year ago

i'm just shaking my head. I can't judge any woman but she is allowing this man to brainwash her. There are times when common sense kicks in and she knows better than to believe some of the things he has been saying. What exactly are you waiting for? Do you want your HIV test to come back positively or would you like to fast forward about 15-20 years in teh future to see your son beating his spouse and your daughter allowing some man to beat the daylights out of her?
He is talking about some man molesting his daughter when in fact that is what he is doing. He is molesting her mind by subjecting her to such an unhealthy relationship. No man will want you, not because you you have two children but because you lack confidence and strenth. You need to Dig Deep and find it and get you and your children out of this situation before it is too late.
Stop reading and Get Out

what? · 1 year ago

I couldn't even finish reading after she said "I want to leave but want my kids to have both parents"...would you rather them see their dad treat u like that, then grow up thinking that its ok for men to treat them like that cuz thats what daddy did to mommy!!!! RUN BITCH RUN!!! Harsh but true, do it for the kids...u would rather have them be in a single parent home than an abusive one, believe me. U will be ok, u just have to believe!!!!!

Classyand Sassy · 1 year ago

Judging by how long this woman has been manipulated and abused, im guessing her family (mother, father, siblings) are not in the picture, which i am sure is exactly what this guy wanted. He has left her feeling alone in the world and completely dependent on him. Point blank sweetie, u need to leave him! If that means that u need to go to your local Womanspace to find refuge away from his manipulation and abuse, then do it! Also, just by reading the grammar and incorrect use of so many words, this girl needs to get herself an education. Self improvement and self love is truly the best way to take charge of her life and to become the best mother she can be.

tx_virgo · 1 year ago

Ionned, u gave great advice. I also went thru the exact same thing as u. I started dating the father of my 2 kids at the age of 14 and he was the first "real" boyfriend I had. He cheated so many time I lost count, I would always forgive him b/c I felt loyality was the most important thing. The straw came when he got another woman pregnant at the same time I was pregnant with our second child. Our kids are 4 months apart TO THE DAY!!!!!! My mother is very active in the church, and told me I had to forgive him and if I REALLY LOVED HIM we could work thru it. I really had to do alot of praying and HAD TO DO WHAT WAS BEST FOR ME AND MY KIDS!!!!!! I told him that I couldn't do it anymore it was GONNA B ME OR HIM AND I WOULD CHOOSE ME ANYDAY!!!!!! I was 26 yrs old and it was hard, I still am healing from all the abuse mental, emtional, and physical. I can also attest to feeling as if I gave him the best yrs of my life. I would always tell my friends that he got me in my prime, and I wasted 12 yrs on him. I haven't really dated b/c I feel it would be unfair to the next man for me not to be over this completely. U and ur kids will b much happier if u do what is BEST FOR U!!!!!!

SadiquaP · 1 year ago

i am scared for this girl.

he is abusive, demanding, and certified crazy. this can go badly in so many ways...including him killin her and the kids. why risk that?

Ashley · 1 year ago

You said it yourself you work and cook. Your ONLY 28, believe me you'll find someone else. And you'll be able to be happy cause now you can get out. Your kids will have a better life if they see you happy. My mom and dad use to fight alot I got to the point I didnt want them together cause I hated seeing them mad at eachother. You kid's sees your hurting and they'll understand. He knows he's wrong thats why he keep putn that negative shit in yo head, to get you thinking about some bull shit thats not even true. Change is all good, Remember you can do bad all by yourself

e-dub · 1 year ago

cosign.

Mrz.Me · 1 year ago

I couldn't even finish reading your letter. I have heard and have been thru this situation before. I will tell you this kids are more happy when mommy is happy, when mommy is sad they feed off your emotions. So staying in it for the kids is no reason at all. My parents use to argue all the time and my mom was not happy at all, I got more respect for her when she left that situation. She had girls that looked up to her. You are torn an d that is understandable you have been with this man for a very long time. But my question to you...Is it worth it? By you writing this letter you know your relationship is over but you are scared to leave and scared to see whats out there. It's okay to be that way but being scared can also be a handicap. It keeps you in situations that GOD himself is trying to get you out of. It doesn't get any better, he will continue to treat you this way because you accept it. But don't feel bad cause I did to and there is still plenty of woman who are accepting these things. But what really made me change was that i realized that i loved myself. And if i truely love myself i wouldn't let anyone hurt me or take away my happiness. Marriage is a serious thing and should not be taking lightly. And if he is treating you like this before you are married it only gets worse and then he will throw that you are my wife thing in your face. So then you become more of his property. I wish you the best and alwayz a peace of mind.

e-dub · 1 year ago

Gotdamn... I got tired after reading half of it... i gave up reading... but i get the gist. He tryna make you feel like he's the best thing you ever gonna get... bullshit.

Look, u got self esteem problems sista... what you need to do, is do the things that make you attractive to other men... You a little thick around the waist? watch what you eat, exercise... Not too sharp upstairs? Start reading. Not interesting enough? Step outside your box and do some interesting shit and become interesting. Basically do shit to better yourself, and trust... good men will come out the woodwork and take notice... 0 kids, 2 kids, or 5. It don't matter.

Shaneice. · 1 year ago

Wow. This is similar to a friend of mine, however her and her dude don't have kids together. He's like 20 years older than her. Yeah, that's right. He manipulates her, controls her and cusses her out at times. I've tried to help her get out the situation, but she feels the need to make up excuses and tries to use manipulation to get her way.

As far ol' girl above, she needs to escape asap. The kids will always have a father. That never goes away, but your safety matters. If this dude is acting a straight azz, you should know better. Go to court and get an order to have full custody. Move out. When you win custody, get your kids and be happy in your new place. Don't tell him a damn thing either. Your life is yours. Don't let some dude think he's the shiit, when he smells like it. Get it together girl. Yup.