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More importantly, every time I am out I try to compliment a minimum of three women. As women we need to love each other and learn to stick together and build one another up.
Years ago, when in a club, I complimented a girl's braids. Didn't think anything of it, just, "Sister, I love your braids - they're gorgeous" and kept it moving.
Later that night an old 'friend' decided she wanted to fight me and and her home girls caught me as I was walking to the restroom - alone. They had me surrounded and I was pretty sure I was going to get beat up in my mini skirt when the girl with braids walked up with her friends and they had my back.
One little (though sincere) compliment and she was willing to stand up for me. In the end, no one fought that night... but isn't that what we should be doing for each other? Complimenting each other? Standing up for each other? BEING sisters.
I don't have to hate you to love myself. I can love you, too. In fact, I do.
You're just bitter about Prop 8 and need to vent at people on the internet.
Woah, Taking a Deeeep Breath.
Ciao,
PrettyDiva83
Ciao,
PrettyDiva83
Ciao,
PrettyDiva83
And Guess what, I contribute my thoughts to this site ONCE A WEEK. So yes, I'm bringing this up. PROL'EM?
i'll be the first to say, you have beautiful hair. but why does it have to be indian unless you bought it and that's the brand name on the pack?
As a dark, fine, talented, proud American NEGRO(E), with hair "like" yours , I really can't say much more to Mo. Mo your issues are too deep for us to re-hatch here in this damn blog. Nice hair, but its not all that. Nappy hair is great, your hair is great who cares. You just mad because you thought you were going to get away with that sad wanna be dig as us NEGROES and you got called out on it. Get a grip lady, if you like to give head talk about head. Hair was not the topic at hand.
I love my black american friends and if you haven't been blessed to befriend one of us, I'm sad for u. :)
I need to go read ur post on head bobbing... but to touch on a few subjects here: 1. I'm similar to u in build/complexion/etc (5'8" 125lbs)... difference is my mom is Black/Niitsítapi & my dad is Black/Tsa-la-gi/White.. (Native American) Why is it that people want to argue my down when I tell them I'm Black? "Good hair" and "pretty skin" does not mean you can't be Black. I'm Black, my parents are Black... my kids are Black "Oooh, look at that pretty little half-Black baby" STFU.
2. I'm quick to tell a sister (or a brother) that I like their look/accessories etc. Either they're polite and say thank you or they give you the stankazz "bytch please" look. Whatever... I'm secure & confident in mine..and you never know who's day you are making by giving a small (honest) compliment.
3... WTF is the issue w/hair? I watched the Tyra "good hair" clip and I was dumbfounded... why can't people agree to disagree w/out the personal attacks... there is no such thing as "good hair" or "nappy" hair... its either kinky (9 ether) or it aint. I've cut mine from my elbows to my ears... Yeah the men hate it but I love it... and I'm still sexy... What!?? lol
you are the ONLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY person that gets this shit on my level. got damn it, i'm not a martian after all. lol
you are my fav commenter right now.
First of all, when i made that comment about your hair, it really wasn't that serious. i wrote one sentence, in essence rolling my eyes at your statement and then proceeded to write a whole paragraph AGREEING WITH YOU. I like to suck dick too. it's a beautiful thing. if you noticed, i even put a little smiley face after describing my afro to show "hey its all good, more or less a joke"
and then you proceeded to write like three paragraphs cursing me out for making that comment about your hair. I could have responded then, but i didn't want to prove Xilla right cuz he's always saying women feed off negativity. i dont. so i let it be. then you wrote this post all about your hair, and i'm not gonna delve into the issue because there 60 other comments doing that, but i will say that when you said ppl have been giving you shit about your hair all your life, in my mind that translates into when you were a child and now your so used to it you expect it. I ALWAYS give props to chicks who are doing their thizzle, whether its a tight weave, a tight perm or a tight natural, or even an outfit or whateva. your comment just came off kinda rude which is why i said something.
Bottom line, i think you took it way more serious than it was which I personally feel (so don't get mad at me for this one) is a personal issue that stems from you being so used to getting shit about your hair that you feel the need to STRONGLY defend yourself.
Hopefully it'll just make them STFU and keep their negativity to themselves
It is very personal when you experience it repeatedly and it's hurtful - I think everyone on here, even the ones who have a problem with Mo talking about her hair can probably relate to what she's experienced and tell a similar story, be it about their breast size, their butt, intelligence, their hair being too short, being to dark, lips too big whatever...
But shout out to me and my BAJAN hair!
i have sad new for you honey, HAVING INDIAN HAIR IS NO MORE DESERVING OF A COMPLEMENT THAN HAVING CURLY, WAVY OR KINKY HAIR.
THE ONLY HAIR TYPE THAT DESERVES A COMPLEMENT IS HEALTHYYY HAIR. HAIR THAT IS WELL MAINTAINED AND LOOKED AFTER, SO THAT THE BEST QUALITIES OF ITS TEXTURE, WHATEVER IT MAY BE, ARE NOTICEABLE. ..so please sit your delusional ass down....
lol @ you wanting black females to throw you daps because your hair is long and straight!! i can go out on the street and pick out 158572057 different white people with your exact same hair type. so your nothing special. only retarded for thinking you are :( lol
yea, im sure that when you were growing up ALL of the black girls around you were the ones with the problem leaving you, the only sane one (rolls fucking eyes) to seek friendships with other non black women. did you ever think that maybe you treated them as though they had something to be jealous about?
when you have a nice FULL, LUSH, THICK, SHINY, head of hair with no breakage, split ends and fly aways, then you can expect women to complement. until then, SHADDAP! lol
It's fucking hair and bitches hate. THE END.
Where are all the non-sassy, shorter/taller, skinnier/fatter, non-Scorpion, lightskinned/darkskinned women who haaaaaaaaaate mouthing off? Why aren’t they complaining about the alleged air of superiority regarding the rest of her self-description?
It was the next to last descriptive thing she said about herself, Indian was not capitalized in its entirety, the first letter was capitalized as it should be, just like African, American, Chinese, Japanese, Jamaican, Italian or any other word that specifies or describes a race or nationality should be.
I don’t know if it’s funnier than it is sad or sadder than it is funny that people STILL have such a problem with hair texture… doesn’t make sense to me that there ever was an issue over it to begin with but damn if we haven’t evolved a little and moved on beyond that by now I don’t know what to say – who’d have thought we’d have a Black President before Black women got over this stupid shyt
Why is the “hair texture” the only piece that caused a stir amongst some of you?
TheLovelyMsRedz said it best “It shows insecurity and perceived inferiority.”
The problem is not that Mo thinks Indian hair is superior, the problem is that “you” (anyone taking offense to her hair comment) perceive Indian hair to be superior. It’s not superior and if you truly believed that, as you should, there would be no protest over her comments about it, just like no one protested over her height or weight or skin tone or sign or sassiness etc…
The jealousy and negativity some women feel when they see another woman who looks nice and has her shyt together has always been confusing to me. Every successful, well dressed, well groomed, physically fit, intelligent, happy, in love woman of color walking the earth is the woman I want representing me to the rest of the world. You might be that/those woman/women - and ALL the people, worldwide, whose paths you cross and whose respect you gain as a result of whatever makes you spectacular, you are in essence representing me and I appreciate you. The more of us there are, the better, and even for you hateful bitches who don’t appreciate it we’ll keep doing what we do and we’ll still represent you WELL regardless of your bad attitude and lack of appreciation.
this post
is the best
evar.
*bows*
It is sad that in the African American communities there is alot of hatred of others, especially the sisters who have so much insecurity and low self-esteem that they have to find "flaws" in another!
It is really sad, and I know with our past generations being oppressed, the media not promoting the beauty of all skins tones, and just lack of personal esteem is the cause of our fellow sisters who will go to such lengths to "hate" on someone else because they are not happy.
Thank you for writting this. But I just want to let you know, in case you felt like you had to justify to some female, you dont have "Indian hair"...Black people have beautiful African American hair as well and you dont have to be "mixed" or "ethnic" to have it! It is so ignorant in 2009 we still have to explain this to some people...just stand.
You are beautiful (no homo j/k) and I should even have to say no homo to let people know that it is okay for another female to compliment another female. You are beautiful for writting this blog too! Thanks for sharing this on Xilla's site!
Much love,
Kiwi
If another woman has a rich, sucessful, handsome man in her life, instead of being happy for her, what do a lot of women do? Try to steal him away! Like it's a competition, and she needs to prove she's better than the woman.
If a woman is sucessful in her job, there will be other women who try to bring her down, either by actions, exclusion, or by tarnishing her image with gossip.
If a woman is looking damn good, other women have to nit-pick about each hair out of place, or make negative assumptions about her character based on her outward appearance (i.e. calling her a "slut," or assuming she's an air-head).
All this negaitvity and hatred is a really UGLY trait. It shows insecurity and perceived inferiority. Next time, compliment the girl with the pretty hair or cute shoes, even if it's only thoughts in your head. Appreciating another woman's beauty or accomplishments instead of trying to tear them down feels good and does wonders for your OWN self-esteem.
smh... can i go back to talking about shaft licking or we still on the topic of hair? LOL
and "sweetie" trust, the hate is there. not that i'm complaining, but that's just what the hell it is. the sky is blue, obama is president and there's hate in bitches blood.
the end.
anyway i wish u the best in all u do!!!
xoxo
whitney
In terms of hair- jeez who doesn't have hair issues? One of my BFF's is as white as can be with straight hair. And she HATES it because it just lies there flat and won't hold a curl. She's wishing for my curls and I'm over here wasting money at the salon to get my hair to lie flat!! Crazy, right? The grass is always greener.
Ladies: hating is wasted energy. Please, let's stop and instead focus on how we can become better people, mkay?
Ryan J simply isn't an expert on hair.
If I shoot a grin at a female as we are passing and she just looks me up and down, I already know what the deal is. And if I could count the times I walked past a group of "kneegrow" chicks and heard "Hmmf. She think she cute..."
....and so do you.
But to answer your question, when I see a women with a fly pair of heels, a nice outfit, or whatever, I compliment her and go on my way because I know she put a little effort into herself and that she takes pride in looking her best. I love seeing women doing their thing, because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. But from personal experience, when you're looking your best, smelling good, and rocking a badd pair of shoes, there will be some chicks you pass by who will look you up and down and swear you think you're the ish...naw, bish I know! lol
But let me stop right now because I can go on and on about this subject!! Keep doing you Mo!!
i keep saying the most redundant thing on this comment section: if i had coarse hair, i would describe myself with coarse hair. if i had extra long legs, thats how i would describe myself. if i had a big ol fat ass, i would describe that. i just have long hair and i LOVE THAT. smh...
I completely understand where Mo's love for her hair comes from...its long, manageable, and pretty. Why not take pride it what you feel is an outstanding quality? I will never know straight, manageable hair--shit, perms don't even work but unlike %95 of these insecure females...that doesn't cause me to feel certain type of way about someone who does. I have been reading these comment and the shit is ridiculous.....
...I'm a thick chick and i have experience hate for no reason for the majority of my life for reasons beyond my understand. The comment usually begins.."that bitch thinks shes......" What i don't get is why every female doesnt "think she is_________" (you can fill in the blanket.) My grandma told me that a woman should always exude confidence even at her lowest moment. To hate on the next chick only shows chinks in your armor.
EXACTLY!!!!
Damn that's even better than my standard response of "No bitch, you think I'm ____"
~Black women are programmed to define ourselves within this male attention and to compete with each other for it rather than to recognize and move upon our common interests. ~
With that said, the hair issue is a big one in the black community. Good hair, bad hair & all that jazz. Though I personally choose to rock my hair in all it's nappy glory, I would never knock anyone who does differently. If someone hair looks nice, it looks nice. . be it long, short, straight, curly or nappy.
I don't go out of my way to compliment anyone, but I also don't go out of my way to diss them either.
But let me calm down.
I dig what you're saying. It's so damn funny cause I like to this of myself as a secure female, so I do the compliment thing just to get a dirty look every now and then or I hear the smug "She think she cute" comment.
Correction sweetie: I know I'm cute. Thanks.
I had the same thing goin on "You're too dark", and I rock my hair natural in a curly afro and some people have a problem with that too, so I said "Fuck it and you" and do whatever the hell puts a smile on my face. Yee digg????
So confronting chicks on here is a waste of time.
Just let them think what they want.
You aint got shit to prove folkz
Matter of fact my hair was the same length as Marv. Mo but I just recently chopped it off! and I am loving my shorter hair!
I also know a girl who is NOT multi-racial, African American, and deep choclate complexion- and she has hair halfway down her back.....it's all about how you take care of hair.
Gurl u r beautiful and I love your attitute. Damn I can relate to all your rants cause I've been there too my sista.
I really love the comment about sharing compliments and your right.., thats what us CONFIDENT ONES do and its really nothing to K.I.M.
you know whats a shame though...when the broad you compliment looks u up and down like you crazy...I just laugh cause in my eyes all smart beautiful black women represent me and if they are fly too... hell I am compelled to share that they do'n something right regardless if I find out after the fact that DAT BITCH AINT SHYTE!!!!
Oh wells....stay fresh mama:)
Now, it's unfortunate that people with real Indian heritage have to suffer because of so many false claimers, but Mo, I think if you said that you were part Indian in your description, it would have gone over completely differently. I think it came across like you had given into self-hatred, and folks were put off, because they think more highly of you. I, for one, was relieved to see that that was not the case.
But, my next point, and this is to all of the commenters as well, why the name calling and vitriol towards the insecure women who hate themselves so much that they can't love you? My weapon against dirty looks, comments about my dark skin tone (which seem to offend some and fascinate others), my hair (which I have worn every kind of way possible), my size, or even my 32NA's (girls who are insecure about their breasts loooove to point out how small they are. I rejoice in the fact that I have never experienced titty sweat), anyway, my weapon against all of that is a great big Care Bear Stare! I usually just shrug and say "But I love myself." Don't get me wrong, a sassy quip may leave my mouth, but I have to check myself before I say "Your man likes it", or "My pubes are silkier than yours", because, well, that only perpetuates the cycle of self-hatred fueled by competition.
So, in closing, Mo, your pubes are silkier than mine, Teyana Taylor has boobs I can only wish for, and all y'all thick girls got more cushion for the pushin' than I do, but I'm clevaaaaaaa...
I used to be very insecure, and I made it a personal goal in 2007 to become "Alright With Me" (Yes E. Badu's Cleva is one of my fave songs EVER), and here I am. I love all y'all, whether you are kneegrow max, kneegrow mix, or kneegrow lite. Thanks, and goodnight!
Lol at the titty sweat!
you just made me feel so stupid. if there's a way to make me fall back, THIS IS IT.
i might have to can part 2 and switch topic.....
lol
that is the size of the average high school boy and when was the last time you was in high school
rewind and try again.
I'm 133 and have given birth twice! Me thinks someone needs to invest in a treadmill.
My return visits are up!
My direct visits are up
my length on site is up
my views are up
everything about my site is up!
She once again will have the most popular blog on the site. IDK why people don't choose to comment as much anymore.. we actually i have an idea but that's neither here nor there why are you so mad at her for pointing out something that is obvious and clearly true? and why couldnt you put your real email address? Could you not stand behind your words? People on here disagree and disagree with me and use their real email and even post their pics... you could't or didnt why is that?
Oh and thanks for reposting about the "too wet" issue.......I learn something new all the time here :)
This blog is evidence that they are here.. its just a matter of getting them to talk. Which is my fault.
Now if YOU can start commenting again... lol
LOL, I am HERE Xilla, every flippin day, I SWEAR. But from the # of times my shit freezes up (sometimes mid-comment) :'-( and I have to restart or refresh I think I should take credit and get a check for the majority of your return visits and length on site :-D
u got one chance a week to say somethin, don't waste it on nonsense like this!
It is quite obvious from your picture that you have pretty hair, and a lovely complexion. I think maybe if your picture was posted, then it would have made a little more sense. I get that your were trying to give us a visual. Point made. I think where the problem lied is that you stated you had long natural Indian hair. I had to go back and re-read the description, but I will admit, as I was reading it the first time I was taken aback a smidge. I continued to read the post and thought it was good, and I didn't think about it again until reading this post. I didn't read the comments (which I will probably do after I submit this comment) so I can't really say where those comments were coming from. I just know that when I read it I felt like maybe it was a tad bit overkill. You had already stated that your hair was long, and natural. At first glance I thought maybe as in not relaxed, but then I realized you were stating as in your real hair. Now I don't know about some people, but usually when giving a self-decription the features that you were not born with are not included. LOL. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if I decribe myself and I have a head full of weave I would just give a description of MY hair or state I have a weave in right now. Yes, I get that some women do try to pass a weave off, but more often than not, it is detectable. So I think maybe that's possibly the place where the comments were coming from...*shrugs*
I kind of rambled a bit, but hopefully you get my drift.
2) Mo do you and shake that DAMN hair!! Most might be mad cause the WIg's & Weave's ran out of #33 Indian Remy 16".
3) We all been hated on all our lives. Thats life. Ain't nothin goin to stop it except ourselves and most chics ain't ready to change the game. Thats fine. Everybody else just needs to be accept its goin to happen and keep it movin.
4)Anybody can have any kind of hair they want because of WEAVE. A good perm or press (whateva ya flavor), a wicked weave artist as I say and some remy-indian or chinese....u can shutem DOWN!!! also...hair will always be an issue because it is. Everybody (some more than others)do put effort up there.
5) Compliments: They are great but tricky. Its so much shadiness nowadays u neva know what the intentions r and your own perception can be on a different wavelength than the others. It's easier to hate because u end up keepin urself protected.
6)Many don't know how to take a compliment-so they don't get em or give em. Thanks and a smile with eye contact then go bout ur biz- FLAWLESS. I compliment if I feel she can handle it. She look (limited eye contact with others, lookin at herself TOO many times) and actin like the world turns for her, she had enough and mine ain't gonna make a difference. But if shes on point and still seems down to earth, yeah a "thats dope!" is in order.
IMO, we have our days where we on point like a laser beam and some days ur aim is 300ft off. Thats life,just learn to play the cards and u be aight.
7) Every woman has these tendencies. Some groups more than others but its there. That sister stuff is for the birds now. Pick ur lane and stay in it, I'll stay in mine.
8) Fellatio: be good at it or get good.
can't we all just get a long? lol sheesh.
i will tell and ugly chick if i like her gear. makes me no difference. some women cannot handle another chick that looks better them or has better shit than they got. get over it and worry about u is what i say. i got enough issues not to be worried about what someone looks like, what style hair they rockin or what they got on.
you ain't got to explain yourself girl... let 'em hate.
I say do you and keep it moving.
I've never had a problem complementing anyone on something I thought was nice or fly.
I think the issue lies in the fact that we as a culture have put a certain standard of beauty on a pedal stool and when something different comes along, people lose their minds. Like someone can't be attractive or beautiful if they're not light skinned with long hair...and so on with that stereotypical perfect type of girl. People act like it's a crime to look different and be pretty.
It's pathetic.
To the HATING Colored Folks- Check out KeepItSimpleSista.blogspot.com and learn how to take care of your hair so you can stop hatin' on others. Damn!
I don't have to hate you to love myself. I can love you, too. In fact, I do. < Take heed please and move on, it's not that big of a deal..
(I'm not saying Marvelous Mo tried to attack people with her post, she just mentioned her hair and kept on moving... others mentioned her hair and stalled at that)
But when previously unrecognized beauty traits are noticed and confirmed as beautiful also, the ones who once held the traits that “defined” beauty now feel threatened, they feel the need to compete. Competition is natural and even healthy but we’ve been forced to compete against each other with things that we have no real control over. If you’re competing in a race you train harder so you can run faster. How do you compete with a hair color/texture, skin color, facial feature, natural body size/shape that you don’t possess? You either go thru great lengths, expense, damage and pain to change it OR the more popular way is to try to convince yourself, society and the subject of your “threat/competition” that what they have is not that great and that yours is better.
A....To Belle: not all women other than light/white or looked upon as ugly. However; the main reason alot are look upon as ugly- this blog topic is a perfect scenario, they seem to be the only ones thinking, bragging, lying and acting arrogant and conceited. Whats so pitifully misfortunate about this type is they mirrors be lying to them. The proof is NObody else see's all that they think they got.
If anything would be the truth: it would be the knewgrow men that said that. Ain't know doubt he is persuaded to prefer the opposite.
Clearly you live in a bubble, and I suspect it's that same bubble that sheltered you from the knowledge that douching 5-6 times a week will destroy your vag
But moving along, if you’ve never “heard” one woman say it to another that is one thing but IT IS said and it's said often….sometimes as a blatant insult other times the infamously backhanded compliment “she’s really pretty for a darkskinned girl"
Its really shocking to me that sisters talk and think this way. Its cold blooded put down, I can tell you that.
I have heard the knegrow man say it so much. It appears that most could careless almost if the woman had a heart inside, all he seem to care for is the outer layer of derma.
Also, I just bought 10 boxes with 4 disposable douche bottles in it and 15 bottles of powdered chemical douche. I bought 20 bottles of non alcohol deodorant. I don't get infections and one thing for sure I ain't stanking. Need to stop bringing that up cause all you doing making laugh...I ain't mad at you, girlfriend.
If it’s all the same to you I may still bring it up on occasion 'cause it’s funny to me too and we can all use a good laugh :-D
You seem like a bright girl otherwise Thoney so one would have to conclude that these intermittent bouts of your inability to properly comprehend what you're reading is somehow triggered by your all-consuming thirst to confront The HeadMistress
Go back...
Start at the beginning of this comment thread...
(a hint: FanceeFoxx {w/out the pic} 5/30/09 05:41PM)
Take your time and read slowly....
And just for shits and giggles let us know what you come up with :-D
Black women, stop feeding into the stereotypes! Stop the self hate. We don't need to be calling each other "kneegrow" and "colored"! It's appalling! We're never going to conquer anything by dividing each other.
www.oozechatterdoll.biz
While attending one of the last meetings in Philadelphia for the Native American Cultural Society before they lost funding and had to shut down, they told everyone in attendance this:- Skin color has nothing to do with your ethnicity.
I have more things in my blood stream than what people would consider a mutt for dogs, but the majority of my blood line comes from Cheyenne and Cherokee..people get mad that I don't solely claim being black when the closest relative I had that was the "blackest" was my great great grandma and she had blue eyes.(yes I saw it in person).
We all need to accept that none of us has ever met any "pure" blacks in our lifetime....unless you meet someone from African and they consider themselves "Africans" and not "black".
I guess after years of fighting for equality, black people still allow the "one drop rule" to dictate how they think...(not all, just the ones that have a problem with people acknowledging their roots).
I really hate to get into what I really feel because obviously her mind is not open to what those are saying.... Long hair, who cares??? Really was it that serious for her to post this? Shorty girl, it's obvious that those that hate on you are a problem but I'm assuming you've had this INDIAN hair all your life, so you should be quite used to it and not feel the need to post ridiculus blogs on the internet. Deep down inside you're a chocolate girl that has some issues... and hair is not it...
my hair and confidence have definitely deterred black women[and some men] from befriending me. when i found this new "thick" shape combined with my hair niggas thought i was stuck up/would play them. and black bitches SWORE i was checkin for their man! smdh whatta mess! it took me a while to get where i am and i'm dayum proud! and my body is RIGHT for once, my hair is fun, and muthafugg a HATA!
i am easy with the compliments, because i love me. if u rockin that bag i can't get or ur shoes got me haute in the toes i'ma SAY DAT! word! i love to let somebody know they're ON and when i get a compliment, sometimes its the highlight of my day especially when times are so tough. it disgusts me how sistas can never just SHINE on anotha sister instead they'd rather shit on her. GROSS! no other race i kick it with is like that towards me!