DISQUS

Ness · 9 months ago

I wouldn't mess w/ any of my homegirls ex's and I would never mess w/ my ex best friend or friend b/c at the end of the day, he'll never take me seriously b/c in his eyes I'll just be the one being passed around from friend to friend.

OooLaLa · 9 months ago

Even if many years haved passed? There should be a statue of limitation on this issue... After 5 or more years, I should be able to let it go.

Ness · 9 months ago

Yup....even if many yrs passed....
B/c if the chemistry was there from the jump then I should've picked him instead of the guy who is classified as the ex.

I can't allow myself to be put into a cetegory b/c I'm on the 2nd friend in their circle of friends even is 8yrs passed...I would still be nothing but a group bunny...even though it may not seem tht way. Whts stopping his friend from trying to get w/ me also...I minus well start chargin a door fee or a cover charge since I'm doing ppl in the crew.....lol

nynikki · 9 months ago

"B/c if the chemistry was there from the jump then I should've picked him instead of the guy who is classified as the ex."

Cosign! Been on the receiving end of an attempted switch and dude got denied for the above reason.

Ness · 9 months ago

Keeping it 100% real...it's just shady especially if ya'll share mutual friends...

Is everyone supposed to be "ok" with u showing up w/ someone ur best friend used to date or show up w/ ur ex-boyfriend best friend....? It's just weird...and what happens if pregnancy happens...it's just too complicated....lol.

nynikki · 9 months ago

And all dude did was holla, he didn't even date my girl. He just thought I'd be happy to be the runner-up...bwahahaha.

Ness · 9 months ago

lol...tht was crzy for him to think that lol.

I had a situation where I was dealing w/ this guy off & on but ppl (our mutual friends) knew we were 'together'. One day one of his friends tried to holla. And I had to put him in his place...like dude I mess w/ ur boy and u know this...do u think I wud actually get down like that. His reply was that me and dude weren't solid and b/c it was off & on he felt like I should've been w/ him instead of the guy I was dealing with.

It made no sense to me & I told my (on & off) dude and he was a lil upset but he felt like that was his boys character and he knew where to keep him after that.

nynikki · 9 months ago

Girl, it can get sooo messy. Hell, I wouldn't let a dude holla when I found out he lived in the same bldg as my off & on man. He thought I was buggin', but I knew it wasn't gonna be worth the drama.

Ness · 9 months ago

yeah it can get messy....b/c I've heard plenty of stories.

guys never really understand when we decline b/c we're the one's that will get labeled not them

DaRuler · 9 months ago

i don't see why other women don't feel the same as you. i mean that's how i look at from a male pov...

Ness · 9 months ago

I don't know why either (shrugging my shoulders)

It's obvious that she will never get the wifey title from her ex's bestfriend and she'll never get wifey from her best friend's ex..

She minus well let EVERYONE hit it and make a lil money off of it lol.

Blacksand · 9 months ago

There is no statue of limitation when it comes to matters of the heart and true friendship.

Ness · 9 months ago

True friendship will come before any man and his d*ck. And my self respect will always come 1st instead me sleeping w/ somone that is my ex's bestfriend...like really...is d*ck that scarce...that I'll allow these guys to throw me under the bus b/c I'm giving aways slices of my caramel delight?

lol

Blacksand · 9 months ago

I feel you Ness. Tell em!! And caramel delight, PRICELESS!! Oh yes, I like how you talk!

Ness · 9 months ago

LOL...thanks...but don't that's gonna get u a slice lol...

just kidding lol. (I think)...lol.

Blacksand · 9 months ago

LOL... you are welcome... a slice of delight.. Oh my, I can see the caramel dripping right now. can you? ummm, ummm, ummm... (i think)...lol.

Ness · 9 months ago

lol..yeah....nice warm caramel drizzling down onto the cone ;)

lol.....

Blacksand · 9 months ago

And I'm gettin every drop of it. Now that is how I like to start a morning off!! Good morning beautiful!! (Very Big Smile)!!!

Have a great day!

Ness · 9 months ago

Lol...good morning to u too!

SW1 · 9 months ago

You right Ness.

Ness · 9 months ago

And it all goes back to the double standard thing. We can't do that and not be called a bunny, or jump off...but guys can do it and try to say it's love or I want to make her wifey....

women who do that won't get wifey title b/c she used to be ur man's main chick...now she's sleepin w/ his bestfriend...so now the bestfriend can easily say...."why wouldn't she cheat on me w/ my bestfriend or one of my other friends....? he can't help but to think it could happen to him.

Blacksand · 9 months ago

Tell it like it is Ness! That is the absolute truth.

Lady Jei · 9 months ago

Hello, I'm Lady Jei and I approve this message.

Ness · 9 months ago

Lol.... hahahahahahaha....

SweetT · 9 months ago

This is hot!! It depends on relatioship on weather i would be with my friends ex ill be real. a few of my friends are grimy anyway and would probably do it to me.

BlogXilla · 9 months ago

damn!

MissSexED · 9 months ago

That is sooooo tryfling and thirsty! So many women in the world, why would a guy try to get his ex's homegirl? That is so TYPICAL! I'm happy I don't have friends that would do that to me.

SweetT · 9 months ago

I disagree if you broke up wit him he should be free to date and sleep with whoever he wants to date... now best friend is one thing but work friend or just someone you know... shouldn't be an issue.

I had a friend who didn't want me to talk to this guy she turned down because he tried to get with her and she dissed him because she thought she was too good. So when I got with him and she saw how much of a nice guy he was she started hating hard! Yall should stop being TYPICAL as you say & b real

Blacksand · 9 months ago

You are on point MissSexED, that is just wrong. There are certain lines you just don't cross. Friedship is one of them.

BlogXilla · 9 months ago

yeah but sometimes the feeling is so right.... then what do you do?

SW1 · 9 months ago

Find someone that looks like her and get it out of your system. You know what they say, not all fantasies are meant to be lived out! :)

Blacksand · 9 months ago

You do nothing. All that glitters is not gold. It may feel right at that time but in the long run it would do more damage than good to the friendship. True friends are hard to come by. If the person truly is your friend you will let her walk on by. As right as it feels.

BlogXilla · 9 months ago

Yeah but you only get a handful of real friends... and honestly.. i might have about 2 real friends... and with men it's simplier than that. But if you land a wife... then what?

Blacksand · 9 months ago

True indeed... I have two. I agree with you Xilla, men are pretty simple. All you can do is be straight forward. If the woman has the potential to take the last name then discussion is required. Respectful brutally honest discussion with your friend how strong your feelings are for the woman. The friend may not like the discussion or that you are proceeding without their blessing but they will get over it when they realize how important the woman is to you. And if they can't get over it, yal can respectfully agree to disagree. Marry the woamn and if the friend truly was/is your friend they will get over it and wish you nothing bu the best.

Ness · 9 months ago

I like u Blacksand....

Blacksand · 9 months ago

Right back at you Ness. I just treat everybody and every situation the way I would like to be treated. Peace & Blessings

SW1 · 9 months ago

I second that!

BlogXilla · 9 months ago

young grasshopper you need to learn to write from the other side of the street...

ListenToLeon · 9 months ago

Great entry! The ex will get over it eventually...If not, f**k her! She's the ex!

LOL but for real, the only thing that could make the situation blow up in a guy's face is if he lies to either one of the women about it. That negates the "it just happened" factor, and turns you into the automatic bad guy.

BlogXilla · 9 months ago

you're absolutely right! And the switch doesn't have to be an ex it could just be a friend. But lying is a no no

SW1 · 9 months ago

As you Americans say HELL TO THE N.O

It's not worth losing a friend over. One thing i am sure off is that none of my friends will never date an ex of mine PERIOD! There is a reason why he is my ex and that is a good reason for them not to go there.

The unspoken rule stays.

BlogXilla · 9 months ago

lol it's not, but it happens and I seen it happen so i decided to shed some light on it.

SW1 · 9 months ago

Thanks Mr Xilla.

What amazes me is that when a dude has sex with his ex's friend he is the man, but when the woman does it she is classed as a whore! From a mans stand point explain this to me please....

ListenToLeon · 9 months ago

It's called the "double standard", and it's a beautiful thing!

LOL

SW1 · 9 months ago

Double standard my arse. LOL

Blacksand · 9 months ago

If I may, I would like to elaborate on the double standard issue SW1. Leon was correct when he said it is because of the double standard. We live in a patriarchal society where the men make all the rules. In essence what James brown said is true. it is a man's world but it wouldn't be nothing without woman or a girl. It is not fair, but that is how it is. Society has made it that way. Progress is being made in abolishing the double standard, but it still exists to this day.

SW1 · 9 months ago

Yes, you may Blacksand. Thank you for your eloquent reply. That is what i was looking for!

Blacksand · 9 months ago

You are welcome SW1. I am glad I was able to give you what you were looking for. May your day be a peaceful one.

Xan · 9 months ago

EXACTLY.
double standard my motherfucking ass.

TRJ · 9 months ago

thats not completely true. its all about the situation and the intentions involved in this situation.

SW1 · 9 months ago

Elaborate please....

TRJ · 9 months ago

a man can be labeled as a hoe just as a female just not in the same way. yes it is true that if man can have sex with with a girl and her friend then he "pimping" if thats what you want to call it. but its only that way if the girls are cool with it. if the girl and her friend aint with that then dude aint doing nothing and he's labeled a hoe. but for a female it is different. if a girl just want to run through me and my mans then she is a hoe b/c i aint gonna lie me and my mans most likely is gonna be cool with that. however if i date a girl and we brake up then she starts talking to my mans i wont look at her like a hoe neither as pimping but i am going look at you like stupid b/c me and my mans chill with each other almost all the time meaning he is going to be damn near like me. does that make any sense and/or answer any questions?

SW1 · 9 months ago

Yes, thank you TRJ it answers alot. However, i still feel that this should not happen in any circumstances. If i have man as a fuck buddy it still is not cool for my girl to deal with him after. It's too messy.

I could not do that to any of my friends, it boils down to respect for both myself and my friend. It's too darn weird.

TRJ · 9 months ago

agreed that is messy and respect is what determines if a friend will try there hand or not, even with asking

OooLaLa · 9 months ago

I dated my good friend's ex for about a year ... 6 years after they broke up in the 11th grade. It didn't sit well with her then, and she still holds a minor grudge till this day, even though she's married with 2 kids. I haven't even seen the guy in years now. Her and I are still friends, but that episode remains a sensitive subject between us.

Xilla · 9 months ago

I think it's because most women are spiteful and confused. I'm lucky I keep meeting. Very rational and cool females. LOL

OooLaLa · 9 months ago

Yeah you must be one of the luckiest man on earth.

Kee · 9 months ago

U know what Xila..u aint' no dayum good (LOL)

Xilla · 9 months ago

Thanks I think. But I thought iwas all good LOL

Jane D · 9 months ago

yo people be cuttin up, sex is the root of all evil LOL, seriously though sometimes I really feel that way, not every attraction is meant to be acted upon, that's one of the main things that seperates us from "beasts" we do not "mate" purely for biological reasons, we have the ability to think logically and use reason, but these days it seems no one has any sexual morals, so friend, cousin, sister, whatever it seems like people will lay with whomever, but the problem is that sex creates a tie that can never be broken between two people whether they like it or not so sleeping with friends forever changes the dynamics of the primary frienship. If it ain't a love thang, u shouldn't even go there

Quonesha · 9 months ago

I couldn't see myself dating anyone my friends have dated i can't look at them like that...but if i did i still wouldn't be interested! lol. Guys get real salty when you date or even exchange numbers with someone they knew back in the day...they wanna hit you with the "thats my homeboy we use to hoop together" or something silly and dont even know dude name. Guys & their easily brusied egos crack me up sometimes.

divadreams87 · 9 months ago

I hate when guys do this because it takes me having a friendship of some sort with a guy to even think about dating him at all. I am also very sure to end on good terms because friendship means EVERYTHING to me, and just because we cannot work out does not mean I don't still have feelings for you. So although I wish you the best and hope you move on, move on to a chick who's not my girl. Cause then I wont even want to be around yall now or ever. Not because of hate, just that I need time to get used to they idea. At the end I loose two close friends, this shit happens to me all of the time! SMH

divadreams87 · 9 months ago

I REALLY wouldn't want to date a guy who's even looked at my girl like that, cause I cant play second choice. Sorry about my ego. Plus from experience the dude always wants to be kissing on me now, but as soon as my girl gets jealous that he's not looking for her attention anymore she wants to start getting it back. Men let their curiosity weaken them so they double dip, or go back to being her pet because they think they were possibly missing something. Then when he realizes its me he really wants, I have no love or second chances. I don't want to be any guy's plaything until he gets to what he " THINKS" is the next best thing.

Upscale Swagger · 9 months ago

Is that Bria Myles?

TRJ · 9 months ago

it wont work b/c my ex has alredy told her friend about all the things i can do, i cant do, my dirt (if any) i do, my flaws, etc...point is she will have certain thoughts (good or bad) about me and what i do based on my ex/her friend. n besides if they are very close friends for one they wouldnt consider doing anything like that and if i was to get with my ex's friend she might be just like my ex

yes · 9 months ago

You should wait until they've found someone new, they're less likely to be worried about what u two are doing. It would say it won't work if they were in something serious, but my friend's cousin is dating her ex so hey....maybe you can get lucky!

DaRuler · 9 months ago

perfect example the movie "my best friend's girl"..