Your insight is well appreciated and rare for someone of our generation. Your growth and perception is beautiful and I only can ecnourage you and hope that other young men read this realize the truth/path you are now on.
BlogXilla
· 1 year ago
Thank you very much, I hope I can touch one person because I looked at my life and I see what I want to be... i see it I'm just trying to figure out how to get there! lol
Ttime
· 1 year ago
You've already said that you DON'T ever want to be married...so which is it?
BlogXilla
· 1 year ago
No I never said I don't want to be married I said I don't THINK I would get marrried. Got a find a woman who could handle me.
Sista GP
· 1 year ago
soul searching is a habit of mine around birthday time. I am prepping for mine tomorrow. won't be elaborate with ice sculptures, maybe just some ice cubes
BlogXilla
· 1 year ago
lol I mean I was so out of place there!! I can't do that It wasn't right not if i want to be someone in life. i mean I had a great time but it was really an eye opener to get on my game and my grind you know! What are you doing for your birthday?
MiazFinest
· 1 year ago
Ttime, u had to find the negative in this huh? I guess if the sun shines too bright, then u wish for clouds, huh?
Xilla, I agree with everything u said. I may not be the best at everything to everyone, but eventually there will someone out there who thinks I am. They'll look at me with those big ol' eyes and smile .... For that reason, I will start living (no longer just existing) ... I wont dwell on what I dont have in my bank account and whats not in my house ..... Blessings will come when God sees fit for me to have them.
BlogXilla
· 1 year ago
aww I think Ttime's loves me!!! She keeps me in check I need that in my life! lol I'm just thankful she comes back to check me out! lol
But I think we are on the same page i mean right now all that other stuff doesn't matter because Im going to get it and I'll get it when it comes and when the time is right you know? We going to make it. You know why a lot of dreams fail? because people stop pursuing them.
ANuJS
· 1 year ago
"You know why a lot of dreams fail? because people stop pursuing them." This is my problem right now. Had the door (I thought I should go through) slammed and I am sitting (pissed of), but just sitting none the less. Sometimes when your dreams fail, it gets hard to keep dreaming. Especially, when they don't seem possible. You get complacent and accept status quo. And guess what, I don't even have xilla sized dreams (mine are a lot smaller). SIgh.
Ness
· 1 year ago
It's an amazing feeling when you end up in the right place w/ the right people at the right time. It's a true act of God that people sometimes over look and take for granted. The fact that you saw the path that you want to take in life is an wonderful thing. People go through life not knowing what they want to do with themselves despite all opportunites that came knocking.
The above quote that T.I told you "stop looking at what you ain't got and start being thankful for what you do got" is something that I finally understood about 6months ago. And my life changed.
Another quote that hit home for me was from T.I's "No Matter What" when he said "let go and let God deal wit it".
Life is what you make it! :)
BlogXilla
· 1 year ago
I do think i was in the right place but it wasn't the right time. The right time has not come yet.... It's coming though I can feel it.
Ness
· 1 year ago
Well just as long as you know it's 'coming' and to be ready for the best feeling ever!! :)
Ms_Cat
· 1 year ago
Good Stuff Xilla.
VIChick
· 1 year ago
GOD brings people and things in your life for a reason. It is up to you to realize what you are to do what the knowledge. I hope that the path that was chosen for you brings fulfillment and peace to your life. Your blessed with the gift of words, and I know that wonderful things will will happen for you. Continue to follow your path.
Ttime
· 1 year ago
There was a post called, "Ask Me Any Question"...I asked "do you ever want to be married" to which, if I recall correctly--I could be wrong----Xilla responded, "No, don't want to be married, but to find someone to spend my life with" (something to that affect). I could be wrong about the exact response, so Xilla just clarified it ---which was the PURPOSE of the question asked to XILLA, not you.
I, personally, don't see how asking a question about, what I percieved to be double talk, negative. The question was asked and answered. Also, it was based on a previous interaction with Xilla, which proves that I am a fan. If you are SO ABOVE my negativity, why not be TOTALLY ABOVE it and ignore my question---that was not directed at you in the first place. Your "sun should be shining so brightly" that it blinds your eyes from reading my question, that was---and I reiterate--- directed at Xilla and not you! Ever been told to mind your business?
VIChick
· 1 year ago
I don't think it's that serious. If you talking to Xilla, then you talking to Xilla. This is a peaceful post, reflecting on life and placement.
trw
· 1 year ago
I have been reading your blog for a little over five months.. I love your play on words and how you intermingle the everyday emotions and happenings in life with the what ifs and what can be.. I can understand exactly what you are saying and the transitional phase that you have entered with the light popping on like "okay.. I am going to go ahead and live life now" so to say.. no you can't be everything to everybody and I have figured that out over the past few years and have taken control of my life by telling others "NO" I sure can't do that.. people will try and use you as a crutch to the point where you allow them to and are investing nothing in the future plight of you or your seed. Xilla the best thing you can do is you.. can't anyone do it better.. so just do you boo.. and as far as that someone in your life.. all this talk about marriage, love and the future.. I wish you the best but know that someone will cross your path to make you realign yourself with the stars and chase the fullness of the moon.. so cheers to when it happens! here is a poem I wrote sometime ago when I swore I was in love.. so here is everyone finding someone who makes them feel like this..
Why I love you for bringing out the best in me Making my smiles explode with rays of sunshine Showering my days with sheer deliciousness Oh how I sing 'dose songs of bliss in the hours only bed bugs bite My cup overflows with satisfaction as you leave me drowsy in a dazed-state-of-mind I hear my heart slow down as my nappy head saturates the cotton twill pillowcase Exhaustion rides my spine causing momentary paralyzation I breathe deep to regain my composure, but one gaze of those soothing brown eyes My high soars like the wind of a brisk Autumn breeze Stimulation of the mind of a man Consolation in the arms of strength Persuasion of the presence of a friend You are all 360 degrees of a man TRW
ANuJS
· 1 year ago
Beautiful poem! Reflection........
MiazFinest
· 1 year ago
Ttime, u must be a new reader who discovered Xilla a few months ago. Take it from someone who has been a reader of his for years, I should let u know that startin shit is not the way Xilla does things. If u're lookin for an e-beef, go on concrete loop or Sandra Rose. But starting shit with me will leave u in tears. So I suggest that u find another playmate because I am not the one....... Great post, Xilla! Never stop goin after ur dreams
Ttime
· 1 year ago
I'm already in tears.................from a comment posted on a blog, by a person that I've never met!
BlogXilla
· 1 year ago
hey ladies... Neither one of you want to beef and internet argue with each other so let end this! Ttime I love you, for checking me. Miaz you know how we do!! So let's not bring this back to 06 out this piece. I got something special coming for all of y'all i'm writing it now!
jo
· 1 year ago
Xilla, I've enjoyed you so much over the years. Your thoughts and opinions on different topics have challenged my ways of thinking. You have caused some many GREAT conversations to happen amongst my friends. Thank you. You've shared so much of yourself with us which is something I don't see myself doing. I wish you the best in all that you do and I hope you know that we are always here to hold you up. (I know Im not alone in saying that!)
ChuckT
· 1 year ago
yo kinda off topic but i read atlas shrugged in HS and there are a lot of similiarities between whats goin on now and what happened in the book. that book and the fountainhead had a huge impact on my grind. good luck man
All Comments
won't be elaborate with ice sculptures, maybe just some ice cubes
Xilla, I agree with everything u said. I may not be the best at everything to everyone, but eventually there will someone out there who thinks I am. They'll look at me with those big ol' eyes and smile .... For that reason, I will start living (no longer just existing) ... I wont dwell on what I dont have in my bank account and whats not in my house ..... Blessings will come when God sees fit for me to have them.
But I think we are on the same page i mean right now all that other stuff doesn't matter because Im going to get it and I'll get it when it comes and when the time is right you know? We going to make it. You know why a lot of dreams fail? because people stop pursuing them.
The above quote that T.I told you "stop looking at what you ain't got and start being thankful for what you do got" is something that I finally understood about 6months ago. And my life changed.
Another quote that hit home for me was from T.I's "No Matter What" when he said "let go and let God deal wit it".
Life is what you make it! :)
I, personally, don't see how asking a question about, what I percieved to be double talk, negative. The question was asked and answered. Also, it was based on a previous interaction with Xilla, which proves that I am a fan. If you are SO ABOVE my negativity, why not be TOTALLY ABOVE it and ignore my question---that was not directed at you in the first place. Your "sun should be shining so brightly" that it blinds your eyes from reading my question, that was---and I reiterate--- directed at Xilla and not you! Ever been told to mind your business?
I can understand exactly what you are saying and the transitional phase that you have entered with the light popping on like "okay.. I am going to go ahead and live life now" so to say.. no you can't be everything to everybody and I have figured that out over the past few years and have taken control of my life by telling others "NO" I sure can't do that.. people will try and use you as a crutch to the point where you allow them to and are investing nothing in the future plight of you or your seed. Xilla the best thing you can do is you.. can't anyone do it better.. so just do you boo.. and as far as that someone in your life.. all this talk about marriage, love and the future.. I wish you the best but know that someone will cross your path to make you realign yourself with the stars and chase the fullness of the moon.. so cheers to when it happens!
here is a poem I wrote sometime ago when I swore I was in love.. so here is everyone finding someone who makes them feel like this..
Why
I love you for bringing out the best in me
Making my smiles explode with rays of sunshine
Showering my days with sheer deliciousness
Oh how I sing 'dose songs of bliss
in the hours only bed bugs bite
My cup overflows with satisfaction
as you leave me drowsy in a dazed-state-of-mind
I hear my heart slow down as my nappy head
saturates the cotton twill pillowcase
Exhaustion rides my spine
causing momentary paralyzation
I breathe deep to regain my composure,
but one gaze of those soothing brown eyes
My high soars like the wind of a brisk Autumn breeze
Stimulation of the mind of a man
Consolation in the arms of strength
Persuasion of the presence of a friend
You are all 360 degrees of a man
TRW