BlogXilla For Sexual Intellectuals - Latest Comments in The Down Low

Re: The Down Low

xtina — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 01:09:41 -0000

I know this post is old but i just HAD to comment. The downlow phenomenon is very dangerous. True story: I was at the mall with my friend. We were just killing time in the food court before our movie started at the theater. We were sitting near the escalator, then we saw two guys sharing a step on the escalator. (You know when a couple want to be extra close, so usually its the guy who is standing behind the girl.) Anywho, these two guys were in that exact position. Not only were they entirely too close, they also shared a quick kiss on the lips. OK, so thats not an issue, I am all for the gay community. However, my friend and I noticed that once the two were in the view of people they gave each other a dap to say bye. We were especially surprised to see that these two men were "homothugs".

And to add to the surprise:
When my friend and I finally arrived to our movie, a woman asked us to save a couple of seats for her because she was coming back. We agreed to do it. Ten minutes later, the woman came back with one of the "homothugs".
Before you say that this woman could be just a friend,get this: the woman was preggers and my friend and I realized that this is the same guy who came into our store (a store my friend and I worked at) with the same woman to buy her gifts. This woman is his WIFE. How do we know? He said he wants to buy something for his WIFE the day he came in.

So very sneaky and dangerous indeed.

Re: The Down Low

Fay — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:37:14 -0000

Akydak coming out the closet there, eh *Really chipper for the boys every time they see ya around hold your head in shame, we know what ya did. Marques mentioned it to everyone and advise to leave it alone you perv.

Re: The Down Low

Shaneice. — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 13:57:37 -0000

I'm for all orientations, so I don't have anything against a man being interested in other men. However, if you feel the need to hide it when dealing with a woman is so not cool. Like, who wants to wake up not knowing if they have a disease because of ol' nasty ass? Feel me. I say, whatever your orientation is, please be real with it. You don't have to go all out and sport your rainbows [although this would clue in the lgbqt community for potential relationships or friends] to prove your feeling the same gender, but clue in your homieloverfriend so they know what's good. Nowadays, people are afraid to shout out their interests because of what society has done, but yo, be proud of who you are. If you sport a rainbow, I want to see it. If you don't, let me see you be you.

Re: The Down Low

afro jamaicano — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:49:22 -0000

oh no mam, im ghey thru and thru. and when it comes to the bedroom im a prude so secs isnt what im after haha

Re: The Down Low

Ness — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:12:48 -0000

The crzy thing is that most of these men on the DL don't think they're gay when they lay down w/ men. I remember hearing or reading in an article that they choose not to use condoms b/c that makes them feel like they're gay and they don't think of themselves as gay....or DL but still str8t.
To me, it's a crzy world that we live in especially w/ HIV/AIDS on the rise in the african american and latino communities. It saddens me that women can't get the respect to be told the truth. Married women are contracting the disease from their husbands b/c the men choose to live a double life.
I don't understand why ppl just can't tell that person the truth....b/c it is a matter of life and death.

Now we have to make dudes take full STD tests and HIV test before they even get the nookie. Tht's right....if I'm gonna sleep w/ u I need the full report. I don't want to see a copy u had since I don't know when. I need to see a recent copy from your doctor.... b/c ppl are photoshop pros' nowadays and can edit any and everything.

Re: The Down Low

Ms. Jones — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 09:30:33 -0000

This topic came up last week when I was listening to a popular radio show in the Tri-State area. Dude calls in sounding extra hardcore only to ask advice on what he should do regarding his DL lifestyle. I was disgusted to say the least, but like you said I wasn't disgusted by his choice to sleep with men, it was his deceit to women that made me want to throw up. I feel like if you have the courage to hop in bed with another man then you should use that same courage to be truthful to others about your sexual preference. Disease is disease whether a dude is cheating with a man or a woman, but every woman has the right to choose if she wants to be with a bisexual man just like every man has the right to choose if he wants to sleep with men and/or women. Needless to say the prevalence of the DL lifestyle makes dating in today's society a scary scary thing.

Re: The Down Low

Dizz — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 08:06:13 -0000

if your man is cheating WITHOUT PROTECTION he is puttin you in danger, period...be it with a male or a female. gay men clearly are not the only carriers of diseases. i think we have to look at the black community as a whole to see why so many black men are on the DL. i also dunno about all that "nobody really cares if you're gay" stuff. this is 2008, but people are still very closed-minded. maybe a random person on the street might not care...but i kno if a dude came to me like "yo im bi" i'd look at him sideways for a minute, and i aint even got nothin against gay men. i can only imagine what somebody's parents and friends would say. but neways, lying and cheating in any relationship isn't coo, period. definitely goes back to communicating with who you're with.

Re: The Down Low

V.I. — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:53:31 -0000

I honestly think that being gay isn't a choice, in saying that I think being on the DL is a choice. Hell if you want to sleep with both men and women that is your choice. I think being honest about it and letting both parties know the situation. I think people on the DL are so ashamed of how they are that covering up the truth is all they can do, but it does more harm than good. I have family and friends that are gay and I love them no matter what, but when you are messing with the lives of others, that is when I have a problem.

Re: The Down Low

justbeingreal — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:39:45 -0000

why would one choose to be gay? im gay... and if i could be straight I would! i mean damn... i knew i like dudes ever since i was in middle school. im not girly acting. played college football and just a regular dude. dont call these dudes out their name..... cause TRUST me.... gay folks aint going no where. you would be suprise.

Re: The Down Low

Dknj — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:23:26 -0000

As a gay man having dated a lot of guys on the DL I will say that society forces people into a box. You are either gay, or straight (rarely do people realize and understand their are degrees to being both straight and homosexual) and if you don't feel as though you fit into either of those categories you're honestly more likely to try and fit into what is most comfortable for you and those around you. Few want their friends and even strangers to ridicule them, for a personal choice they make, but even fewer want their family and those closest to them to look at them crooked because they don't agree with their lifestyle. I don't agree with dating a woman and being on the DL but I also don't agree that life comes down to "left or right". There is a middle, and northwest, and southeast. From my perspective, I don't agree with anyone who feels they can't just be themselves, but coming from a household and an environment where being who I am is accepted, I don't expect to be able to understand their view 100 percent. As the years roll by I find that society is more accepting than it was when I was in Highschool, but I also think there are a lot more stereotypes and close minded opinions of gay men and woman (how they should act, look or where they should hang out) and because of that in some ways makes it more difficult to step out of that closet. Still, I don't think it is okay to put someone in a position where they've made a life with you and you turn out to be a completely different person than they thought they knew. However only understanding and acceptance will cure this "epidemic" as it was put. Closeminded views and labeling DL men as an epidemic (words we use for only the most negative things, like AIDs or drugs) will only give them more of a reason to be on the DL.

Re: The Down Low

BlogXilla — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:02:18 -0000

Now let me back track for a minute... To see if we can come to a common ground here. Let's say with some it's a choice and with others they were born that way. I just don't understand it, we can agree to disagree.

Re: The Down Low

crunkpoet — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:56:04 -0000

yea a lot of people think that b eing THIS WAY is a choice but its really not..who wants to CHOOSE to be gay and have to go through the shit they go through with family friends church members...most gays say if they had a CHOICE they would not be gay.......the article kind of contradicts itself...you're sayin its cool to be gay and people shouldnt hide it but its a choice??? nah homey its really not a choice...

Re: The Down Low

afro jamaicano — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:41:35 -0000

gud thing i stopped on by and read this post...
personally idk about the whole "blk dl" thing, to me its sort of a myth b/c all the "DL" men that i see on the ghey sites, at clubs, at stores, etc are white. very few blk dudes i see.. maybe jus depends on the city.

my parents knew i was ghey ever since i was little and so did i. what can i do about it?
did i choose to be ghey? umm no... did everybody else choose to be str8t? umm no... sexuality isnt a choice, it just is..
homosexuality doesnt get the "credit" that it deserves. shih gets complicated when ur dealing w/ another man. shih sumtimes u both dont wanna do the same thing, sometimes they dun wanna cooperate, etc...

thnks for not being afraid to post about this topic, and i will NOT make a comment about how cute u are xilla i just wont do it haha

Re: The Down Low

Breezy — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:01:16 -0000

that's true..when a female is bisexual, it is usually accepted..when you hear a guy is bisexual, he is automatically assumed to be more gay than straight thus creating a problem.
also, everyone is talking about DL dudes and HIV.. well isnt it also the female's responsibility to be in know and keep getting herself (along with her man) tested.. this is why i dont overtrust fools.. i dont care how long we've been together, we will be getting tested together.
a lie is a lie and living on the DL is never cool either way..

Re: The Down Low

R.E.S.T. — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:28:59 -0000

This double standard is becoming more and more apparent as I read these comments, so I'll just ask;
Why can female bisexuality exist, but not male? I'll even go insofar as to ask why such stringent rules are applied to men regarding sexuality when women are held to more lenient ones?

Re: The Down Low

ALMiss — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:05:24 -0000

Xilla, you caught me when you said: "if you call a straight man queer or even gay they are likely to fight you. No straight man wants to be classified as gay."

My ex and I are still pretty good friends and see each other quite often. When I first met him, I truly thought he was gay...he even sounded like it on the phone. His phone voice is deep (like normal) but with a pinch of tang in it. I swear sometimes he SERIOUSLY acts like it and when he does so, anyone who is around him asks him if he's gay or calls him gay. And he just laughs it off!! He still has me thinking on that one...

Re: The Down Low

Free Back Links — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:48:56 -0000

any type of dick in your life other than your own if your a dude is homo. As dave chappel said theirs only one cock starin in my pornos. Its 2008 if your gay so what like anyone besides your partner is going to care. No. Its not just the gay thing though its just FAKENESS in general is spreading like crazy. How many of these rappers are really what they talk about. Shit fat joe in an interview straight up said i've never sold drugs, smoked weed or any of that stuff it just sounds good and thats what people want entertainment. Well I for one don't, nothing about listening to someone rhyme lies together is entertaining to me. As someone who has made the mistake of living that lifestyle to the fullest before being snitched out by a FAKE I know and other real cats know u don't glorify that shit. Especially if you were still doing it. You might glorify that you were so great at it after you move on, shit sometimes i reminisce with my old partners when they ask me to come back about movin a byrd in an hour. But by no means to promote that shit. Im all for the hustler not the game.

These FAKES n LAMES need to stay in their lane.

Re: The Down Low

what? — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:23:59 -0000

What have you seen? U know u can't say nuthin like that here and then try to leave it at that!!!!

Re: The Down Low

BUT — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:14:23 -0000

But what is really sad, I s when women wait to have sex until they are MARRIED and STIILL get screwed over because her HUSBAND is on the DL!!! Women who live by the bible are still getting screwed over because of DL brothas. AND that’s when I know that this world won't last much longer.
Being on the DL is so selfish...if your partner was a prostitute before u met him or her; wouldn't u feel that you had the RIGHT to know?! Or what if he or she MOLESTED a child....wouldn’t you feel you had the right to know before yall had CHILDEREN?! You are a selfish and ignorant man....DC. I wonder how you would feel if one day you end up on opposite sides of the table?!

Re: The Down Low

Cherishcarver08 — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:43:21 -0000

As a bisexual women. I think that dl brothers are disgrace. If you like to fuck or be fucked by another man why lie...why put up a front because of what others may think.Get over that shit and keep it moving. DL men from all races are the biggest reasons for HIV because they are mostly the ones who refuse to wear the condom on both ends.

Re: The Down Low

kingsmomma — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:27:45 -0000

The Black community doesn't give two shits if you are gay and love men, the black community is up in arms and rightfully so once your lifestyle is contributing to the increased rate of new HIV infections. There are several secrets that I have never told anyone but not one of those secrets has endangered the life of any person that I have dealt with on an intimate level. It is one thing to keep which way you push the lever a secret, it is another when you are engaging into homosexual activity and then using me as your cover. If you are Gay, Great lets go shopping. In this instance you can't have your cake and eat it to.

Re: The Down Low

Killa — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:18:16 -0000

Exactly ! Well put Xilla, I have NO problem if you're gay do you (or him lol) it's the gay dudes in denial that lie about being gay and sleep with females.

Re: The Down Low

BlogXilla — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:11:49 -0000

I don't think its the fact that men are sleeping with men. I think its more so of men sleeping with women so the world won't call them gay while they go behind a woman's back to be with a man whom they'd rather be with.That's the problem. No one is wanting you to put your business out there. That's they kind of gay i have a problem with. The ones who are overly gay who as so over the top with it you be like damn dude even chicks don't act like that gay. I mean to each it's own!

Re: The Down Low

Killa — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:10:48 -0000

Sweetie it's not about wanting to know its about being HONEST if you fuck and suck dudes and sleep with females both partners have a right to know. If you are DL and NOT being honest you are a very selfish man and putting peoples lives and hearts at risk...bet if I found out I kissed a dude that sucked dick and i asked and he lied about it I'd be in jail. let the person know ahead of time that way they can make the decision for themselves if they want to fuck you or not. It's not about being gay it's about being HONEST. There are men who are asked and they lie, if you are honest when asked kudos to you then the person can decide if they want to deal with you or not.

Re: The Down Low

DC_REALEST — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:58:51 -0000

@Miko.... Quest? its takes too to tango. who's at fault? what about catching HIV/AIDS thru needles...did we forget about that. there are only (4) ways to get the HIV ppl.

if you protect your bone nobody will come knocking. neither the stalk or the grem repper. feel me?