Title use is an excuse for stupid people to use and abuse. After college I believe that the only official title should be Wife and/or Husband. When your dating someone there comes a point where there's a discussion. You all know it, the dreaded "Where are we going with this?" At this point you both will have to decide if the two of your are Exclusive to each other or understand that your simply dating w. benefits. This is normally when the bullshit begins or a true relationship blossoms. So.....once you've become exclusive all this breaking up for 2 days is pure Fuckery. Either you wanna be committed or you don't. Having your cake and eating it too *pun intended* is what Homegirl did Xilla. She's delusional and felt that she wasn't doing anything wrong b.c "We were broken up for 2 days" I would think that if you wanna commit w/some1 seriously there would be no need to do the 2day Fuckery. But hey, that's just me and I don't have time fi di Fuckery. Love, EbonyLolita :)
Miss Kella
· 7 months ago
Me and a couple friends just had a convo about this a couple months ago... (drinking was involved...they are hilarious although I think one of them was serious)
Its not cheating if:
there's no penetration, rubbing is ok. you're not married its dark your contacts aren't in you're emotionally unstable its a one sided pleasurable experience its after 10 pm your significant other acts like they don't care you're just making out you've had more than shot of dark liquor it wasn't good they are a bad kisser you made it home before the next morning they end up on your "He doesn't count list" he licks you until you're paralyzed ( this chick actually said this)
Of course all of it is cheating. Bottom line: If yall exclusive, then you only have them as an option.
nynikki
· 7 months ago
It's incredibly immature to break up with someone you're seeing just to have sex with the next person (and if the break up lasts 2 days, then it's safe to assume that this person's goal is to go back to their original partner with a supposedly clear conscience). This kind of yo-yo relationship is worthy of H.S. kids and doesn't belong in dealings between grown folks.
babydoll
· 7 months ago
Casual sex is iffy, that is why i don't do it. Beause where is that invisible line that has casual on one side and relationship on the other? If you are sleeping with someone more than twice a week, on the phone, eating out together, chilling on sundays it is relationship territory. As women WE have to bring it up, because a n*gga will f*ck around on you and in a minute throw it in your face about "well were not official" Some straight ass punk sh*t. So if you are gonna have casual sex, please don't have casual sex with just one man! But if you don't want to sleep with multiple men let that one you sleeping with no the deal or prepared to get hurt ....Men are good at playing dumb when it comes to this
DopeAlicious
· 7 months ago
eh, it all depends on the people involved, especially the female. Some are open-minded and don't care about titles (or lack thereof) and will be ok if you were to be with someone else. Then there are women who will have a problem with you being with someone else regardless if the relationship is serious or not. for me personally, i've always gone by the old motto, "honesty is the best policy" as long as ur upfront with me and don't lie then i feel like we can be cool and you can do you. if you don't fall in line with what i'm looking for, then i can cut my ties and move on to the next.
favorisntfair
· 7 months ago
I guess my thing is if you have to wonder and its not made clear where you stand with a person, then you are not what you think you are to that person. If you are my man, you are going to know that. Regardless of the type of woman that likes a title or doesn't care about one...they both look like the fool when neither one of them understand why he has moved on when she was out of sight and obviously out of mind. And yea, honesty is the best policy but when you want your cake and to eat it to sometimes people are put on a "need to know" status so they can keep eating at the sexual buffet.
MS. CALI
· 7 months ago
HI-FIVE GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!! ALL THE WAY FROM CALI
favorisntfair
· 7 months ago
I'm not sure how deep the relationship is if you can break up for some sex with someone else. When do you get to a point where you decide that you are only going to be with one person despite the temptations of others (especially in the summer)? To answer the question, is it cheating, I say no if you are unattached when you get with the other person. I feel all is fair in love and lust if there is no title. I see more women being faithful to the untitled man way more than I see men doing it.
favorisntfair
· 7 months ago
....btw...I truly believe that if a dude hasn't given you a title, you are not what you think you are to him. You're not his girlfriend, woman, wifey or any of those things that would have him coming home at night to you.
thejadednyer
· 7 months ago
I can't speak on the break situation- that depends on the couple and if that works for them
but if you're in a "relationship" with no real "title" or expressed purpose in each other's life, the parties are 100% entitled to hurt feelings if the other sees people outside of their arrangement, but can't really cry fowl.
If the couple never sat down and expressed, "we're in a monogamous relationship" then all bets are off. Again- they can be hurt and upset all they want, but no one can be called a dog or a ho if there was no real expressed commitment on either part.
That's my politician's answer... you like? lol
hazysin
· 7 months ago
Thats a good question and Im kinda in the same situation now. We don't have title but there is an almost unspoken commitment, with boundaries. From what im noticing most of the boundaries are placed on me. We can Menage but if i wanna go out on a "date" its an issue although we are not a couple. In order for me to do me, i have to constantly bitch for no reason (push him away). Right now im on my ignoring the calls, not answering the door shit because i think he needs to understand whats he losing because this situation without definition is frustrating.....
ive broken up with a few guys for hours or day just to have that chance one nighter....guys dont even break up, they just do it like Nike
blogxilla
· 7 months ago
yeah he has you dicknotized... lol but there is always that gray area where you never really know what the hell it is... and no one wants to be the ass who brings it up
lbdbrown
· 7 months ago
If you break up with your boy/girlfriend with the intent of sleeping with another person and then getting back together, yes, in my opinion that is cheating. The other scenario is way less cut and dry which is why I try to keep a very open dialogue going so that there are no unanswered questions or false expectations. I think that sometimes people leave it undefined just to leave an out, like, "well, we're not really together-together" or "I thought we were exclusive." It can go either way...
blogxilla
· 7 months ago
does anyone ever intend on breaking up with someone on purpose? I mean if they just use it as an excuse... lol
Deirdre B Pride
· 7 months ago
It sounds like a sorry azz punk move.
blogxilla
· 7 months ago
word?!?
Sexy N Sassy
· 7 months ago
That's a good question, but it you don't have a title than you don't belong to the other person. When it comes to taking a break, it depends on whether the couple had a sit down on what type of break.
404
· 7 months ago
To answer your questions...no & no.
MS. CALI
· 7 months ago
YES ITS CHEATING AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE THAT JUST BROKE IT OFF WITH SOMEONE SHE SUPPOSE TO LOVE...TO HAVE DEATH SENTENCE SEX (NOT KNOWING SEX) COME ONE.......AND THE MAN WHO ACCEPTED IT......WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT A MAN LIKE YOU!!!!! PEOPLE DO YOU LOVE YOURSELVES?
PEACELOVELIFE......MS. CALI
streetz
· 7 months ago
Technically, its not cheating if there's not titles, which is why some women may hate that. It's all according to the parameters of the relationship.
This reminds me of the friends episode where Ross and Rachel were "on a break" and he went and beat some chick and she found out and broke up with him, lol.
I think if yall break up, you are free to do whatever, regardless of how long it "should take you" to get over someone.
As long as you're clear on the dos and donts of your relationship, you kow if its right or wrong.
Lady Jei
· 7 months ago
If you break up, you are like Sprint..Free and Clear, lol. You can bone several women/men and she/he can't say a word.
If you don't have a title, then what do you have? An understanding? Are you dating? Are you dating exclusively? What it sounds like is, you are dating, but not exclusive to each other. Therefore you both can do whatever you want with someone else if you want. Because you both know you are just dating, and free to date other people.
I mentioned this on another blog. There's several levels to a relationship with a man/woman: Kickin' It: Ya'll may text/BBIM/email, go out once every 2 weeks bowling, movie. But it ain't nothing. You kick it with multiple people Dating: Ya'll see each other at least once a week. It may or may not include sex. You can be dating more than one man/woman at a time. Dating seriously: Includes sex, you may have met his family, his boys. You may even spend the night on a week night and have a toothbrush at his place. Dating exclusively/Boyfriend/Girlfriend: You have met the parents, not sleeping with anybody else. Compromise is much bigger. He is making his intentions known if he is moving towards making you wife. Fiance: the promise of marriage. Wife
So IMO, depending on where the two people have decided where they are that will decide if sleeping with another is a clear flagarant, or your team still have 2 fouls to give.
DaRuler
· 7 months ago
That's a good question. How can someone get mad when either of u don't hold a title. I had a situation similar to this when I was messin with this one chick. She felt neither of us held any responsibility to each other, yet I knew when she would be mad when I got phone calls from other women. 'Til this day have yet to understand her. U dont want me, but u don't want anyone else to have me...
Jessica
· 7 months ago
If you have a lady or man that you are dating, and go out with another person and it's just you and them. IT'S CHEATING! If you are going out with a group of friends it's not. If you are single and you make it perfectly clear to the other person that you are not looking for nothing more then friendship or to have a good time; then you are NOT CHEATING! Beacause you are your own woman or your own man. You explained the situation to that person in the beginnin, and if they fall for you. Then that's there falt, they new what was up in the beginning!
A. Janay
· 7 months ago
** If the commitment is not spoken and talked about between to two of you then there is no commitment...your just who he calls when he doesn't wanna be alone or needs a bone. but the thing is that double standard if i were to go out with another man and i had someone else with that unspoken commitment and he found out he would be mad and stop fuckin wit me... but if goes on a date its always ' why you mad?'
and that girl was cheating on her man if she went back two days later.
All Comments
Love,
EbonyLolita :)
Its not cheating if:
there's no penetration, rubbing is ok.
you're not married
its dark
your contacts aren't in
you're emotionally unstable
its a one sided pleasurable experience
its after 10 pm
your significant other acts like they don't care
you're just making out
you've had more than shot of dark liquor
it wasn't good
they are a bad kisser
you made it home before the next morning
they end up on your "He doesn't count list"
he licks you until you're paralyzed ( this chick actually said this)
Of course all of it is cheating. Bottom line: If yall exclusive, then you only have them as an option.
but if you're in a "relationship" with no real "title" or expressed purpose in each other's life, the parties are 100% entitled to hurt feelings if the other sees people outside of their arrangement, but can't really cry fowl.
If the couple never sat down and expressed, "we're in a monogamous relationship" then all bets are off. Again- they can be hurt and upset all they want, but no one can be called a dog or a ho if there was no real expressed commitment on either part.
That's my politician's answer... you like? lol
ive broken up with a few guys for hours or day just to have that chance one nighter....guys dont even break up, they just do it like Nike
PEACELOVELIFE......MS. CALI
This reminds me of the friends episode where Ross and Rachel were "on a break" and he went and beat some chick and she found out and broke up with him, lol.
I think if yall break up, you are free to do whatever, regardless of how long it "should take you" to get over someone.
As long as you're clear on the dos and donts of your relationship, you kow if its right or wrong.
If you don't have a title, then what do you have? An understanding? Are you dating? Are you dating exclusively? What it sounds like is, you are dating, but not exclusive to each other. Therefore you both can do whatever you want with someone else if you want. Because you both know you are just dating, and free to date other people.
I mentioned this on another blog. There's several levels to a relationship with a man/woman:
Kickin' It: Ya'll may text/BBIM/email, go out once every 2 weeks bowling, movie. But it ain't nothing. You kick it with multiple people
Dating: Ya'll see each other at least once a week. It may or may not include sex. You can be dating more than one man/woman at a time.
Dating seriously: Includes sex, you may have met his family, his boys. You may even spend the night on a week night and have a toothbrush at his place.
Dating exclusively/Boyfriend/Girlfriend: You have met the parents, not sleeping with anybody else. Compromise is much bigger. He is making his intentions known if he is moving towards making you wife.
Fiance: the promise of marriage.
Wife
So IMO, depending on where the two people have decided where they are that will decide if sleeping with another is a clear flagarant, or your team still have 2 fouls to give.
and that girl was cheating on her man if she went back two days later.
stupid fool :P LOL