BlogXilla For Sexual Intellectuals - Latest Comments in Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

TheLovelyMsRedz — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:09:37 -0000

Thank you!!!

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

TheLovelyMsRedz — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:08:04 -0000

AMEN!!!!

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

TheLovelyMsRedz — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:02:46 -0000

That's the best way to handle it. But honestly, there would be nothing to think about after that. I wouldn't even consider seeing him again as anything more than a friend.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

TheLovelyMsRedz — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:54:15 -0000

How can I say this gently... Fcuk what he thinks!!! Why would you even worry about that. He can THINK I'm indebted to him as much as he wants. He will be sadly disapointed.

Plus, if he's the type of guy that thinks a woman owes him p*ssy cuz he dropped some money on her, then he's a jerk and now I REALLY don't care how he thinks or feels.

Never let a man make you feel guilty or like you owe him something cuz he spent some money on you.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

Haniplease — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:09:53 -0000

i love how this was a 2parter. well i've been in this situation and i always pay my part and exit gracefully, then ignore all future calls. i never wait for/offer an emplantion and i fall deeper into anti-brotherdom....lol i rarely step out with a black guy and each and every tiiiime i break the rule this happens. or they're just weird as fugg barely speaking coherantly and its not even worth them paying the bill as the experience is so dang uncomfortable.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

Kay — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:28:24 -0000

This would be the story of my last three years. I just got out of a relationship with a broke ass dude. Initially, he would pay for dates, but after a few months of dating I thought that I would do him a favor and pay. Paying then became "you pay for yours or we aren't going anywhere at all."

Needless to say, I let this go on for three years, but let my heart get wrapped up in him and love. I know better now. You give them an inch and they will run a marathon.

Since then, I'm on a mission to upgrade to something better.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

theFEMALE — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 01:20:12 -0000

applauds for TRJ.
you know, thats what im talkin about.
why is it so damn hard to find men that still believe
in that philosophy.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

sunshyne84 — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:51:18 -0000

y didn't he say split the check from the beginning when he was asked? ugh!!

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

MissSexED — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:55:52 -0000

LOL....tomorrow for real. Working on it now

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

HeadMistress — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:46:02 -0000

LOL @ "overly prepared" - that sounds way to familiar

I swear the epidemic of men just not being men and the GD golddiggers of the world have totally upset the balance and rules of dating...smch

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

HeadMistress — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:37:18 -0000

Ohhhh c'mon, why put off til tomorrow what you can do today??? LMAO

This is not gonna be a "Xilla Tomorrow" is it ??? you know like that Cinderella Story he promised us "tomorrow" two damn weeks ago...just sayin :-D

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

HeadMistress — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:32:01 -0000

Thanx *fake smile* but I'm gonna need more info....

WTF@ "women are putting themselves in this predictimant by trying to be to much like dudes"

Women aren't trying and don't want to be like "dudes"

A lot of men - not all, not even most, just "a lot" - are failing at being MEN so we have no choice but to pick up the slack where we can

Cause and Effect..period

Maybe it wasn't meant to sound chauvinistic but it does and its not the first comment you've made that reads that way....jmo

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

MissSexED — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:14:35 -0000

Expect a blog tomorrow with what I did and all of his excuses...plus the icing on the cake that I left out!

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

DaRuler — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:10:49 -0000

the whole situation was simply ass backwards. now he finally got the date and there's a chance she won't go out on another with him now beacause it was bad planning...

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

HeadMistress — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:46:41 -0000

Exactly, and if he really didn't have it due to his "lost wallet" he should have either gone somewhere within his budget or postponed the date...

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

hazysin — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:35:22 -0000

I completely agree with you on this one....I NEVER go out with someone without having my own spending money (my grandma taught me that). Plus having alot of brothers taught me a thing or to...i dont want any many thinking i and indebted to him for anything --especially not a drink or a meal.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

onebaddboo — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:27:44 -0000

I agree HeadMistress... I am ALWAYS prepared to pay for myself when I go out on dates. Sometimes overly prepared to the point where I won't let a man pay for me (probably a bit too independant in that case.)

I don't think there should be an assumption to who's paying. If you go on a date, despite whom asked whom, assume you will be paying for YOUR stuff. Assuming a man will pay for your food because he asked on a date is like a man assuming he's gonna get some by buying a woman a drink at a bar/ club.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

ashbunnie — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 10:47:41 -0000

I would have done all three options, starting with option #2... waited for him to get back and told him off very tactfully. Nicely but very condescending. I would have then paid my portion of the bill, down to the last cent. Leave the bartender a tip deemed suitable, and then gracefully and wonderfully strutted outta there. After finishing my amaretto sour of course. But that's just me. OH and regardless of his ability to hold a decent conversation, he has no tact nor etiquette so he should not be worth your time at all. It's one thing to agree upon going dutch, (which is acceptable SOMETIMES, especially if you don't want anyone to feel like they owe something @ the end of the night), but it's totally inappropriate to look at a bill then ask the bartender to split it because you realize now that you don't have enough money. And to make matter worse, $54???? Like really. And If I had a dollar for every excuse like "my wallet was stolen" or "i was a victim of identity theft, so I have no $$" or my fav, "No cash on me, just my debit card" I'd be super rich. Men want the women with the independence to match "theirs" but when she comes along, you are suddenly dependent on my chip-ins. Leave that man where you found him. If he couldn't cover a $54 bill, then what the hell can you pay for? $54 is like a phone bill for me.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

Staljah — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 09:44:42 -0000

b/c I'm on my Grown Woman shit...I would most def pay my own tab and kindly let him knw tht it is IMPOLITE to ASK SOMEONE OUT and then expect them to PAY.....his number will be filed under "DONT ANSWER"

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

The Don — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 08:42:32 -0000

marry me girl lmao

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

DaRuler — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 05:07:18 -0000

very much agreed.. i feel like if she gave the time of day for a date out or schedule the least he could do is treat. that would be the gentleman thing to do...

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

IamJavone — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:03:19 -0000

I would have paid the entire bill, and the tip and been really nice about it and left. Its nothing. Besides a real man would have not allowed this to happen.

If a man asks you out, he is paying. And as a woman I pay the tip. If I ask a man out,I will pay.

However just in case, if this is a first date, I will get to the spot about 15 min before him, give the waitress my credit card, and tell her I am running a tab just for me. So while I order all my own food/drinks, I know how much I want to spend. So while he is ordering up shit left and right, when its time to close out the tab, she will bring me my bill and give him his. If he goes left, then I already know; that will be the last date. If he offers to pay my tab, that's cool too. But if he pays his tab and we continue to have a good time, then so be it.
Sometimes with men you never know. Gotta be prepared.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

MsDiva — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:05:26 -0000

and if i was in the poster's situation. i prolly would just pay my share too (not to cause a scene, and because i too, am always prepared with cash for ignorant scenarios like that). but i'd definitely tell ole dude to lose my number.

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

MsDiva — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:01:18 -0000

all i got to say is OMG! if some similar bullshit didn't just almost happen to me a while back. i was getting ready to go on a date with this dude. after going on a couple of dates with him paying without any question, on our most recent, he texts me on his way over to pick me up and asks if i'm treating this time. come again?? i was so through. needless to say i told him that if he was expecting me to pay for myself and him, especially without any previous discussion of such, he may as well go on back home cuz i wasn't trying to go out anymore. he of course played it off like he was joking and we went on our date, with him picking up the tab.

these men out here have to understand that they can't be askin us out and expecting for us to pick up the tab. I have no problem with tipping, but that's as far as it goes. Now if you're my man, I got no problem picking up the tab every once and a while. But if we're just dating---be a man about yours. And yes, I've got my own, but I'm just saying...lol

Re: Let’s Go Out, But You’re Paying For Your Own Stuff

Jamel — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 21:38:28 -0000

A real man doesn't entertain the idea of the woman paying on a date. Whether he asks or her. Im 20 years old and have been paying since the years at the skating ring lol. That is just not polite at all. As a man I know that would put me in a bad light in that womans eyes. Even if I take a woman Im just friends with out to lunch, I pay.

But to answer your question, pay the funky 21 bucks, Leave his slow ass a note saying what a man is supposed to do, and to lose your number.