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But I would have paid my portion of the tab (because i'm a lady), would have waited for him to return, told him in the most respectful but stern way that what he did was tacky and classless and that he should NEVER call me again!
Trifling, broke ass nigga! (okay sorry...back to being a lady)
It's disrespectful how he asked u for the beer and cocktail...
And if he is so tacky this early it's gonna go down from there...
You mean to tell me he is flippin over $21?
I had this happen to me once and I was gonna go to the bathroom and head for the parking lot but it shows how sorry he is as a man when you gotta just lay the money out and let him know it ain't nothing...but he is def not worth another date.
It has nothing to do with gold digger women it's the principle that he begged her out offered to get her some drinks and didn't split the check the first time...nor did he let gee know it was a Dutch date. What a LOSER!!!!
1) pay your tab
2) let him know "quietly" that his actions were ungentlemanly - making a scene would put him on the defensive and he'll just get loud in return and he won't be embarrased by his actions...ladylike behavior will force him to face his shame, secretly, which is always worse
3) make your exit OR if you're the type that can enjoy a night out by yourself: stay and enjoy the band and/or even find another guy to dance with
*** sighs with a heavy heart ***
Albeit reluctantly, I have to agree "somewhat" with The Don's line of thinking, 0_0
Times have changed and as women we can sometimes get caught up in wanting all of the benefits of independence and none of the hassles....it's true my mother's mother never had to worry about these things, but I wouldn't trade a lifetime of dutch dates for all the "much worse" shyt that she DID have to worry about...
I wholeheartedly believe that if a man pursues you and asks you out he should pay for the date BUT I'm also gonna be prepared, mentally and financially - I never assume that he will pay so I have my money ready and when the check comes I reach for my wallet too, let him be the one to say "c'mon now, put that away"...if he doesn't I'm already prepared for that scenario and will be able to continue on having an attitude & drama free night, when it's all said and done I can piece together all of his actions for the night and decide if this is the type of guy I wanna deal with further
I don't think there should be an assumption to who's paying. If you go on a date, despite whom asked whom, assume you will be paying for YOUR stuff. Assuming a man will pay for your food because he asked on a date is like a man assuming he's gonna get some by buying a woman a drink at a bar/ club.
I swear the epidemic of men just not being men and the GD golddiggers of the world have totally upset the balance and rules of dating...smch
WTF@ "women are putting themselves in this predictimant by trying to be to much like dudes"
Women aren't trying and don't want to be like "dudes"
A lot of men - not all, not even most, just "a lot" - are failing at being MEN so we have no choice but to pick up the slack where we can
Cause and Effect..period
Maybe it wasn't meant to sound chauvinistic but it does and its not the first comment you've made that reads that way....jmo
Plus, if he's the type of guy that thinks a woman owes him p*ssy cuz he dropped some money on her, then he's a jerk and now I REALLY don't care how he thinks or feels.
Never let a man make you feel guilty or like you owe him something cuz he spent some money on you.
Being the type of woman I am (don't like to cause scenes and bringing attention), I would opt to take the L and pay for whatever it is I had---but in a very STANK way lol. I would be completely silent, and make slick comments about the tackiness of the situation. Then, I would make my exit and tell him to enjoy the rest of his night and never call/answer my phone for him again. And if he asks why, I will tell him EXACTLY what I felt.
Everyone's sitation is different and hey, u never know what someone's finances look like. Granted u said he had 10 beers and I'm not sure how much a beer costs b/c I don't drink them, but I'm sure it's not as much as a cocktail....
Maybe tht's all he could afford givien the fact that his wallet was stolen. And maybe he felt that he still wanted to do something w/u. But he should've just said it from the jump.
People have a hard time talking about money just the same way they have a hard time talking about being tested for stds. You have to make them come out and say it so everyone is on the same page.
I clear that out b4 I step foot to go anywhere with anyone (especially somone new).
Let me do the math.
My total was $21 (wings, beer, amaretto sour)
His
7 beers at $3 each = $21
plus his wings (and fries) = about $10
TOTAL= Approx $54 (plus tax)
Girl, all he could afford was his stuff b/c clearly he didn't even consider paying for my food from jump.
Maybe all he could do was afford his portion of the tab...and yeah we was asking u to get another drink (knowing good & well he wasn't payin for it) but he should've said that when he was on the phone.
A simple..."hey....my money is kinda tight but I still wanna go out..maybe we can go dutch b/c my wallet got stolen & all I have is cash)
Some guys just lack class and aren't gentlemen at all! And sometimes I just blame women for ALLOWING THIS BEHAVIOR. They don't tell a man what is unacceptable b/c they don't want to risk loosing him.
Then I'd pay, and quietly leave... then delete or block him from my phone.
How low class ...wow!
I think if he had of been upfront and said that his money was tight, but he just wanted to spend a little time with me or something I could have made a decision of whether or not I wanted to come out the pocket on some wings and drinks that you insist I have. People just don't think sometimes...lol.
you know, thats what im talkin about.
why is it so damn hard to find men that still believe
in that philosophy.
But to answer your question, pay the funky 21 bucks, Leave his slow ass a note saying what a man is supposed to do, and to lose your number.
these men out here have to understand that they can't be askin us out and expecting for us to pick up the tab. I have no problem with tipping, but that's as far as it goes. Now if you're my man, I got no problem picking up the tab every once and a while. But if we're just dating---be a man about yours. And yes, I've got my own, but I'm just saying...lol
If a man asks you out, he is paying. And as a woman I pay the tip. If I ask a man out,I will pay.
However just in case, if this is a first date, I will get to the spot about 15 min before him, give the waitress my credit card, and tell her I am running a tab just for me. So while I order all my own food/drinks, I know how much I want to spend. So while he is ordering up shit left and right, when its time to close out the tab, she will bring me my bill and give him his. If he goes left, then I already know; that will be the last date. If he offers to pay my tab, that's cool too. But if he pays his tab and we continue to have a good time, then so be it.
Sometimes with men you never know. Gotta be prepared.
This is not gonna be a "Xilla Tomorrow" is it ??? you know like that Cinderella Story he promised us "tomorrow" two damn weeks ago...just sayin :-D
Needless to say, I let this go on for three years, but let my heart get wrapped up in him and love. I know better now. You give them an inch and they will run a marathon.
Since then, I'm on a mission to upgrade to something better.