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Let's say that 6 out ten of the men were disrespectful (inappropriate comment about her ass, a "dayum!", ignant "ay yo ma! lemme holla at u")
2 of them might not have been disrespectful but were obviously out of her leauge (not only extremely unattractive, but posted up on the corner not doin anything while she's on her way to her 9-5, unkempt/sloppy lookin)
The other 2 may be decent dudes, just being polite and hoping to start a convo or get to know her. But think about how the female feels/thinks after all the other dudes she had to deal with that morning----and all of the others that will do the same at lunch and on her way back home. It's somewhat discouraging!
Men are visually stimulated and Women are stimulated by a certain lifestyle/presense. It is easy for a man to find women he is interested in because there are women all around them everyday and all they need is to be attracted to them for whatever reason. A woman can see attractive men but that doesn't mean she will be interested. We need a little more info and observe a lilttle more to become interested. That is why I reccomend that men don't approach women in the street or while she's in the middle of something. The best places to approach a woman is somewhere where she can get a good picture of who u are, ur lifestyle, and what u are about. That way, she'll have more to go on when deciding whether or not she wants to entertain yor conversation or not.
I don't need to fully comment because you said it, so I'll be brief...
when it's obvious WHY you're being approached and by WHOM, and you know it's not what you want, why bother responding?
It's all in the approach, fellas...
Marcus X
Yes, all of the shiny jewels, hot car, loud clothes are to attract females, jus as a peacock will fan out his tail, or a ram will fight with another to have the harem of
Ewes follow and mate with him. It makes sense, however I feel the misunderstanding comes in when (a) one is not being truthful and (b) one is generalizing all because of the errors of one particular person's ways.
Materialism(n)a great or excessive concern with material as opposed to spiritual or intellectual things.
That's all around me in this southern city that I call home. As for me, I'm humble and I don't get caught up in that. I don't mind if ole boy is on MARTA, long as he's back and forth on MARTA making progress. HIS progress, not what I consider progress.
The beautiful thing about life is that we have choices. We can make a choice as to whom we will and will not deal with. If you don't like what she/he is talkin bout then keep it movin. We cannot change people. And when someone shows you who they are.......believe them!!!!
Look, nobody is saying to orchestrate a backdrop! The point I was making is that the street or any other non-social setting is not a good place to meet someone and start a convo. A man can have a fly whip, diamonds shining, looking real good and STILL get shut down if a female (or at least a decent one) is not in the right setting or state of mind to entertain someone based on a "hi". The first 5 seconds thing is mostly during a social meeting of a man (being introduced, talking to on the phone, out on a date), not any person with man parts in any given time (that would be magic). If men put more effort in picking who they want to be GENUINELY interested in, then it wouldn't be such a dissapointment when they get shut-down. Randomness=Sub-Quality
You are right, women do know within the first 5 seconds if you have a shot at the title. I will accept the compliment, if he asks for digits/pin # I kindly tell him I am currently not accepting at this moment. Very nicely and politely.
I rest my case though I think its safe to say we agree to disagree. O and Deeny you will not challenge me to a fight I will kick yo ass girl you must of thought I let that ride huh ? j/k
Think about it...u have a dog and when ur hurt, they'll bark to get someone's attention. When ur being attacked by a person or animal, they come along and scare them off or bite the hell out of them. Dogs are reliable, loving and always there when u get home. Even if u leave the gate/door open and let him roam the streets, he'll always come back home!
I never had the "all men are dogs" bullshyt embedded in my head, my mother never went there w/ me and neither did my dad. They told me what type of guys to watch out for and that was that!
I'm the type of female that say "hello" back if a gentelman decides to speak. Not those guys hollering "ma' wht's up, or "shorty can I holla" bs! I'm talking about a gentlman...who knows how to approach a female.
And I'm FAR from being materialistic! If I like cars then I'll work hard to get MYSELF a nice car. If I like jewelry then I'll BUY myself diamonds etc...I don't look to man to buy me materialistic thing b/c it will only result in a meterialistic relationship.
I'm Ness and I approve this Message! lol
Real women, real talk.
Xilla, what kind of girls (notice I didn't say women) are you surrounding yourself with that they have this mentality. Awwwww poor baby, wanna come hang out with me and my crew, lol!!
it's a lot of "girls" and "females" running around but the good women are out there...it's just that men don't feel like taking the time to "reach" for them... they'll rather have the rotten apples that fell on the ground b/c they're easier for them to get to.
Just the same as it's good men out there...it's just that some females and some girls want the "bad boy type" but a REAL MAN doesn't have time to be young at mind b/c he's too busy gettin his $$ and keeping it and even investing it so when the RIGHT WOMAN comes, he'll have the foundation set so they can be set
I am Ness & I approve this message! :)
soooooo u just said everthing right here. many men don't want to put the effort into courting[yea i brushed off that dustass term] a good woman...its easier to get a hoodratty GIRL! here it sucks because the men u speak of, get themselves together and exclusively seek out white and light chiks to complete their ideal picture. i hate that! ARG![yea i'm still on it] they make the money, invest it then wait on palina to pop out the 1/2ie babies... WHY!?!?
Why ask why!...lol
i think men should just honor the good girls cuz jigga put it best, once a good girls gone bad. she's gone foreva and that's such a waste, ditto the opposite for men. uh yea.
Its all about knowing what you want in a man and not sacrificing yourself for the sake of a man.
And accept him for who he is. And all of this is normally revealed as the two of you are dating (and not sleeping together).
Dating a man is very important. You can learn alot from him within the first 30 days. He will show you just who he is.
think about it, if all the women in the land gave a passing greeting to every nigga watching her sway down the sidewalk, where would that leave her? where would that leave society?
oh i know! complaining about child support and shit like in the blog before! lmao, its all relative.
plus, men have dicks. dicks are trouble. they don't discriminate on age, gender, marital status, species, familial status or religious affiliation. As a woman who has firsthand experienced the tragic confrontation of Dicks Gone Wild as a small girl I feel as though MEN can be in control of themselves and be great men...just like so many people's husbands and uncles and fathers and pastors and employers and teachers...but the dick has a mind of its own. It can't stop and it won't stop. And some men are very weak when it comes to resisting that phallic force.
Soooo...with that being said, men need to figure out how to correctly approach a woman in an "I'm a great dude!" kind of way, or don't get mad when I middle-finger your punk ass on that "hey excuse me miss lady can i talk to you for a second?!" shit. Most smart women are not too inclined to give a second thought to some guy who's only calling after them because he likes what he sees. That's the dick picking out your partners!
Not with that shit, lieutenant!
--X.
Speaking up 4 da Bruahs
Good blog, L.....for those of you that don't know him....he's one of the good men out there.
Melissa
But I also get where KD is coming from...
There are two issues here: the "Simple Hello" and the "Compliment"
There's no reason why anyone should not respond to a simple, respectful greeting...the only "females" who ignore and diss men when they say "hello" are those who simply think way too much of themselves.
As for the compliment, this is where it gets tricky and I've never known how to express this sentiment without sounding conceited or unappreciative...so I'm just going to say it with the disclaimer that these words are 100% conceit free...
For example:
Pretty girls know that they are pretty, not in a conceited "I Know!" kinda way but just in a common knowledge "people have been telling me since I was 2 yrs old so it's sunken in by now kinda way" and not to sound unappreciative of compliments but it gets to be a bit much to hear it constantly...
We all have something that stands out about us - something that other people are in awe of, so to make it make sense think about that one thing that you are constantly praised for/complimented on (looks, talent, intelligence...whatever)
Who can honestly say that after hearing the same compliment over and over and over again, day in and day out several times a day for years on end that sometimes they don't get just a little bit tired of saying "oh, thank you" like it's the first time you ever heard it, your "thank you" loses some of it's sincerity after awhile, not purposely but it almost becomes very "flight attendentishy"
"Thank you for flying Delta, enjoy your stay in..."
"Thank you for flying Delta, enjoy your stay in..."
"Thank you for flying Delta, enjoy your stay in..." X's 200 passengers....AARRGGHH!
I don't believe men should have to jump thru hoops to get a woman's attention and while the street is not the best place to approach a woman, you seeing her there may be random and maybe it's not a chance you can pass up for hopes of catching her in the laundromat or supermarket so at least be a little more creative with your greeting if you plan to say more than just hello...
*** comment on something other than her physical appearance ***...
assume that she has somewhere to be and make your convo brief...
offer her "your" number instead of asking for hers...spontaneity is key so just be sure to write it down in front of her and not to have it all ready like "BAMMMM" a la Clovelle and Howard Tibbs III - Funky Finger Productions style...
A good man/woman is hard to spot, especially in a big city. There’s so many random jackasses getting in the way of the view and the nice ones get lost in the mix, myself included.
I say hello back and thank you when complimented on the street. As a younger woman I would brace myself for the disrespect that might follow because the guy thought my polite response was a green light for a booty-call. It may be my age (35) or my ways (no-nonsense), but now the jackasses see me and fall back on their own.
But nothing makes my day like a nice hello with no strings (or a tip of the hat from an older man-love that!). And I look for those nice hellos everyday! It might come to nothing, but if he/I decide to make a move, that initial “can I get your #” will be a lot easier for him than the random dude jumping out at me on the street.
plz rephrase --- it def takes awhile to find a good man.
nd only foolish ass females are blinded by the flashiness of those foolish ass negroes!
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