DISQUS

bestkept512 · 4 months ago

i read this and it contradicts with my thinking and really messing with my head lol. im in relationship but my best friends dick is like my kryptonite. we have been friends for almost 8 yrs and we can not be alone without something happening. and i always feel bad after becuse my boyfriend loves me and i love him but should i feel bad ? i always thought i was one of those people that has to be in a relationship to be intimate but i dont. im not sure if i should just be fine with getting
pipe[age] from my boyfriend and bestfriend and let it be

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

so you're sleeping w/ you bf and your best friend and you feel bad? Well cheating sucks. you shouldn't cheat, and you don't love your man b/c if you did you wouldn't cheat no one else regardless of who would matter. When i was dating my bk chick i didn't even think bout sleeping with another chick. Wasn't an option. But should you feel bad? Well that's on you. You have someone elses heart in your hands and thats not something i'm willing to play with. If you feel a certain way. I would say tell your man you want to continue to have what you have but you don't want to be his girl anymore. Tell him the two fo you can still have sex go out and do all that other stuff but you want to see other people.

You have to be real with people becase if you don't you could end up hurt somewhere.

bestkept512 · 4 months ago

yea i know cheating sucks cause it has happened to me countless number of times and i promise myself that i would never hurt anyone like that but it is like i wish i would have never did that with my bestfriend because i want for us to just be able to hang and not do anything and i always just expect that when he comes over but its like if i tell him no he gets upset and will stop talking to me for a couple of weeks and our friendship is important to me but i know i shouldnt worry about it cause my relationship is the most important thing to me

DaRuler · 4 months ago

sound like to me you wanna be with ur best friend more than you wanna be with your boyfriend...just my 2 cents.

curlyhairedgirl · 4 months ago

Love and sex aren't synonymous for a lot of people to some people sex is just a form of instant gratification nothing more and maybe less...So I don't know if sleeping with someone else means that she doesn't love her man in regard to the feeling bad that is on your conscience but you are probably feeling bad b/c you aren't being honest with your man but that is just my two pennies

thejadednyer · 4 months ago

I've had plenty of sex-only relationships, but I had to stop because at the end of the day the sex wasn't enough for me anymore.

It's like, say you smoke crack for the first time and it sends you over the moon. The next time you smoke it, it won't be as great so you'll need to do a bit more, and so on and so forth until you're a full-fledged, dick-sucking-for-money crackhead.

That's how it was for me. Sex was great the first few times, but after a while I began to crave and intimacy that you can only have with someone who is more than a jumpoff. I think a few dudes could sense that and pulled away from me.

And similarly, some of the dudes began to act a bit possessive and thirsty when that was not the initial agreement so it had to end.

While this set up sounds good in theory, I don't believe it's human nature to be that detached. And listen, if THE JADED NYER can say this then you know it's the gospel truth!! lol

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

Yes in a perfect world the i just wanna put your ankles on your earlobes theory is great. But that's why I say I don't see what the big deal is... lol because if we all follow the rules it should work. And you gotta understand that in this case its not just fucking... just fucking like the i only call you when im bored blog is one thing, but to have a sex relationship is so much more than i just call you when im bored. its all inclusive! lol but i feel you and you're 100% right. but i still wanan put your ankles on your earlobes

thejadednyer · 4 months ago

Oh, okay, well when you put it like that then sure! So... *in Joey Tribiani's voice* How YOU doin?

lol

DaRuler · 4 months ago

you can't follow those rules, that's just human nature. you begin to feel a certain way about that person... but yeah, in a perfect world.

SexC Sarah · 4 months ago

i had people i just had sex with before and i dont c a problem wit it. i mean cmon the dick was good. i'm wit u xilla i dont see what the big deal is. dope blog

CASH IN DA BANK · 4 months ago

YO IM DOWN WIT JUST FUCKING BUT WIT ME ITS LIKE THESE CHICKS GET TO HUNG UP ON THE DICK U KNOW? WE JUST FCKING MA BE EZ GNR

Amber Tulip · 4 months ago

Damn Xilla, from your cinderella stories and now this. You can be my jumpoff any day lol. *DEAD* @ people not wanting to order their ’steak’ like they want to order someone else’s broccoli.

MissBeasley · 4 months ago

I am normally a very open-minded person, but this is something that I just can't get with. By no means do I judge anyone for their choices...do you! But I can't give myself to someone without being in a committed relationship. Does it suck? HELL YES!!!!

When Im single I still want to be kissed, touched, penetrated, etc. It's frustrating as hell to be a very sexual person and not get that release. It's not worth that feeling the next day of self loathing though. If it's not with someone that I care alot about/love then it's wasteful of my body. I need that genuine connection.

tttt · 4 months ago

ahmen

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

so you want sex, you just don't have sex? Its wasteful to your body to have sex with out a relationship? But isn't it depriving your body not to have sex if you want sex? I need more of an explanation on why you wouldn't do it if you want too.

and you are sitting here saying it sucks? Just because someone tell you this is how it is doesn't mean it has to be that way.

Michelle Smith · 4 months ago

I can admit that I've had a sex only relationship...he was my homeboy kinda like my best male friend. To be perfectly honest I only fucked him because he had the biggest penis I'd ever seen in my life and still has the biggest...and I was curious lmao. Sad but true..it was just one of those, "Im horny your here let's do it" and since he was a male whore anyway I figured it'd be no big deal. It was to him apparently he "like liked me" hmm go figure. I ony slept wit him that once I didn't wanna lead him on...ironically we still the best of friends...it was just one of those things

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

so he had the biggest penis you ever seen huh? Well how many penises have you seen before? [II] But was it good? Did you enjoy it? Did you put your hand on his stomach? Does he push up on you since the too of you are still friends

Michelle Smith · 4 months ago

Yes the biggest and I've seen plenty ..I have a penis fetish so men tend to dont mind to show them to me when I ask...however I don't sleep with all of them.. lol. Was it good...not at all...more like painful extremely uncomfortable.Let's just say for me personally, big is not always better...I was sore for 2 weeks after and it wasn't the good kind of break your back sore either. which would probably explain why I wasn't inclined to do it again. He wanted to be the "boyfriend" but I couldn't do it...sex is important and that just didn't live up to the hype. He still tries tho although the time and gets shot down...Im just not interested in riding that ride again.....

AGK · 4 months ago

Lol, i've had such a relationship with a guy for TWO YEARS.

Uh huh, u heard me right. He was cool, but there were no intense feelings between us. We would go out 2gether, have dinner, go 2the movies n we were also seeing other ppl @the time, but the thing that mainly kept us 2gether was the fact that we could call each other @any time n get 2the sex part whenever we felt like doing so.

Well, i stopped seeing him when i found someone i had feelings for, but it still was a cool experience! Haha

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

you been letting a dude just smash for 2 years? I'm proud of you! lol I have a chick who i haven't smashed in years but all it takes is one phone call and i know it's on and popping. she had the softest booty too! lol

Dominique Laws · 4 months ago

I think as long as you know what it is...its cool, I'm in a situation like that now...our sexual chemistry is crazy of the meter...never had something like that in my life...tried things with him I wouldn't with anyone else...but @ the end of the day I know that its just sex and its good enough to be all I want now...do I think I would want to date him if he was available...probably not just because I know that he isn't opposed to having his cake and eating it too...but until I find that someone other than him that puts my ankles near my ears he's got the job!

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

See i can respect that. Like it's like you gotta roll with it. Relationships are important but at the end of the day so is what you want. That's the balance we all need to find out what we want and what we need in re to our sex life.

REALMAMI · 4 months ago

@ Ms. Dominique Law I am in the exact same situation with you. The chemistry between the young man I am involved with sexually is BANANAS that shit is so intense. I enjoy what we do and how we do it LOL!!!

mahogany · 4 months ago

I understand what your saying Blogxilla....BUT for me personally I got to be in a relationship.

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

i feel you. like i said that connection is a helluva thing some people are all for it others no so much. its weird like that. its almost like there is no middle ground.

shebaddd · 4 months ago

I actually do have a "friend" that i only screw lol. He's a really nice person but the only thing i can see us doing is having sex. I honestly wouldn't expect anything more from him. We only know each other because his best friend is dating my bestfriend.
I dont see why people take "hooking up" so seriously. i dont want a man and he clearly doesnt want a girl. its really not that crucial.
And i know this is wierd but im more comfortable with being intimate with a person im NOT in a relationship with than someone im involved with. i guess i feel like i can let my inner freak out with a person im not taking seriously. crzy huh???

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

no not really, sex with feelings is a weird thing. makes some people crazy and it's a lot of pressure. a lot of pressure. Sex in itself is a lot of pressure specially for me. I can't have an off night. I can't get a bad dick report... i just cant if i do i would have to shut down shop. No woman who knows me as BlogXilla and has slept with me will give you a bad report.

shebaddd · 4 months ago

wow lol
well those are very lucky young ladies.

Just Wondering · 4 months ago

I screw my ex from time to time.. like maybe 3 times a year if I'm single, horny and see him out. It usually happens when we see each other out at the clubs. The only reason I still fuck with him sometimes is because he can really eat a girl out! Other than that, his sex game is just aiight. I'm also seeing this One Night Stand turned casual sex buddy... but things are changing. He tells me he misses me and calls me babe and such... But the sex is awesome! I don't want an emotional relationship with him, but I know tht's going to be hard to avoid. I wish I could just stop these casual sex relationships because I honestly do want something different that didnt start off as sex.

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

great comment.... I'll have to blog on this later.

Just Wondering · 4 months ago

Thanks. I'll really like to hear your insight on this also. I do want a relationship because I'm done just messing around with dudes. With this One Night Stand turned Sex Buddy, there was a reason why we continued seeing each other after just meeting at a club and going back to his place. The sex was good and we do have a connection that goes beyond physical. I guess there's something there, but I really don't have much confidence on how a relationship would be with someone I met and had sex with on the first night.

secretbee · 4 months ago

I'm one of those old school gals that has to be in a relationship to be intimate with someone. I become easily attached and would not want to give myself to someone who doesn't care about me. I know it's hard to find a man who's willing to wait based on today's society. I'm not a person for casual sex. I want to be in a relationship with someone who will love me and eventually that will lead to us making love. I have friends who are nymphos and will just fuck because they're bored, but that's not me. I need longevity and something meaningful. I don't want to be just another woman in that man's head. I want to be the woman he can't wait to get home to so that he can show me how much he really loves me. Simple. Until I find that man, the cobwebs will be forming.

BlogXilla · 4 months ago

as long as you know who you are and what you can and cannot put up w/ your good.

myfeelings · 4 months ago

To me sex is sex. I separate sex from making love. I am a grown woman (28) and if I am attracted to a man, and we are in a position where sex is going to happen then that is what it is.

My virginity has been long gone and I don't feel the need to deprive myself from something if I want it. If I'm going to sleep with a guy early on, chances are I know this is not someone I am going to have a relationship with anyway, so I really couldn't care less what he might think of me for jumping in bed early on. We're both getting what we want and that is that.

morethenahandfull · 4 months ago

I would be telling a lie if I said I never had a friend for the sole purpose of getting mine. He was actually an old boyfriend but when I called him or he called me we both knew what it was. If he came over and his dick wasn't hard then he already knew I would be talking shit, lls!!
On occasion we would have drinks and some stuff to choke on but it was never a requirement. Afterwards we hit the showers and go about our day. The crazy thing is is that although we nolonger have sex (3 years later) he now does work around my house...with my husbands approval. Although hubby doesn't know the details he knows that we use to see each other. He is really a cool dude and it all goes back to me respecting his marriage and he respects mine....

SoAnxious · 4 months ago

i used to do the whole "waiting for a relationship to have sex thing" but i eventually got tired of waiting around for that to come.
now i have this dude..we started out as friends but eventually became fuck buddies. it sucks because i actually want more out of it and have actual feelings for this sucker ..but i know that's not possible so i'll just settle for the sex.. emotions get in the way!!

DeeDee · 4 months ago

I'm currently in a 6 months long sex only relationship with this guy I've known for many years. Everything started out great, now we've hit a bump. Recently when he comes to visit, instead of a little company and then getting to our thang--he wants to argue and fight. All these emotions have come out of NOWHERE!!! And I don't understand it, because its not like he's the type to actually settle down! (I've known dude a long time, so I know his track record....he's a dog, so why would I allow myself to get attached...come on!) At this point and time I believe our good thing will soon come to a sad end. I really dont want it to (his sex game is on POINT!). ADVICE PLEASE

mojo · 4 months ago

ah! finally got to a PC to post this...lol

this one guy and I have been f-buddies for 4 years now...started right after HS, thru shitty relationships and all. when i left for college i started seeing other people, but always called him when i was home on break. matter of fact, he has a girl right now, but i kinda don't care since i was there first. we just can't let it go, even though neither one of us wants a relationship with the other. i mean, after all this time he knows exactly what gets me off, and vice versa. besides the sex, he talks to me when he is having relationship issues or what not since he knows i'm not feeding him what i think he wants to hear. works well for us.

JustMe219 · 4 months ago

I used to be just like bestkept512..w/ thinking that I couldn't have sex w/ a guy unless he was my bf! But shit I got older and stop giving a fuck! I'm all about my nut and then I'm ready to roll or he has to go! LOL..it isn't anything wrong w/ having a jump off or being a jump off as long has you have rules!

maymajesty · 4 months ago

Hmm, I don't know I have mixed feelings about this. I have this guy that I've know since hs, and we saw each other after many years about 2 yrs ago, he called me, we met up and it was on and poppin. We've hooked up a few times, but I really don't like how I feel after. I think because of the fact that it is really a sex only thing that bothers me. I like to go out, have drinks, movies, or whatever but that's not the case. Needless to say, he's been calling and I haven't been answering lol. I don't want to say I have to be in a relationship to have sex because sex it really important to me, so if the sex is bad the relationship will probably be worse. I have stayed with a few exes because the sex was good, but they irrated the hell out of me, so I really don't know at this point. I'm getting older and I just want a man who can sexually satisfy me, and I him and we enjoy each others company at this point. I can't seem to find that, it's always good company, bad or aight sex, or bad company and great sex, oooor bad company, worse sex. Also, I just have to say men need to really step their games up. I don't know what the hell is goin on, but these men are so damn wack in bed. I think the fact that sex had kind of become, let's say, "easy" to come by men don't really put any effort into it. I am really sexually frustrated because I'm sure you can tell is been a few months, but I feel like I'm just gonna be disappointed when I do get some anyway so what's the point.

Ok, I'm done with my rant, lmao. I really need to get laid...

bogart4017 · 4 months ago

If you get into that kind of relationship each party has to be very clear about their intentions. Too often one party or the other catches feelings which would force the two of you to reexamine the relationship. When it gets to that point one or the other may not want to step up to the plate so to speak. Which means somebody gets hurt. So rules have to be established and occasionally enforced.

hissweetestdream · 4 months ago

Lust and Love are so easily confused. I had a relationship based on sex for 6 years, well that is according to me. He says it's love, but that just because the chemistry between us be so raw. Some call it "making love" I call it "passionate sex". That's why you should never share one of them slow, look into the eyes , while I bust type kisses, unless your ready to take it from "just sex" to full blown relationship.

Phoenix Nicole · 4 months ago

i had one before. although it was fun for a while, i just came to the conclusion that i'm better in an actual relationship.

Monay · 1 month ago

I've been wanting a purely sexual relationship with someone for the longest. Just like you specified in your post, I want all the "benefits' of a relationship, but I really just want to be f**ked all day everyday. Real Talk.

My only problem is that, how do I approach a guy. What am I supposed to say? "Hi, I'm my name is Monay, & I am looking for a jumpoff? Let's be real lol