DISQUS

I'm Just Me · 1 year ago

I used to be a female who didn't mind being w/ someone else's man. It was easier to deal w/ the guy b/c there was a clear line of what was and wasn't expected.

However my views on cheating r different than most. I don't consider it to be 'cheating' if I'm not married. If a guy and I are dating and he happens to step out then he stepped out and the same is applied 2 me. Yeah ur feelings get hurt, but it's just a "feeling". We only had a verbal agreement to 'try' to be monogamous. Life happens.

circa-81 · 1 year ago

True True. But the same is applied to marriage it's just a verbal agreement turned physical contract....and if you breach that contract you stand to lose finacially (thats the downside ofcourse). But if you want it straight forward you can't get more "honest" than what you just said.

sexyma078 · 1 year ago

Im no angel but i as a married woman have to let you know marriage is more than a verbal contract.....if done properly it is a vow to God to love honor and obey!!!!

Miss_P · 1 year ago

i LOVE that pic! just had to say that. ;-)
and even though these are common sense, sometimes things just have to be said.

BlogXilla · 1 year ago

Thanks a lot, I feel in love with that picture as soon as i saw it. And you're right because even though things are clear and out in the open sometime people just don't know... lol

circa-81 · 1 year ago

Usually I think that it just falls under "Their Just A Freak" pre-text. And you damn sure want to stay away from the ones that are in a bad relationship. You'll go from f%ck-buddy to boyfriend and then "baggage handler." By far just deal with the ones that are just freaks.

BlogXilla · 1 year ago

Hahaha I like that baggage handler. Guess who i bumped into this weekend? Blaq Ink? Remember her? She used to comment back in the day... lol

MrMarcusX · 1 year ago

Xilla,

This is a hot entry. True indeed bruh. Most ppl won't admit that these are the factors of why humans cheat. For men, some of us do have these internal urges for tapping out on another pussy it...get tired of beating up on the same pillow. Done beat it up till the stuffin is gone. Next. Head is very important too. For me I can plow thru a wall after some stimulating head. If she got lousy mouth work, pass. Porn does keep you at home but so much can have you targeting your fine ass co-workers (#1 Cheating Zone---the job). For those that have years (5 or more) in distance of age in partners, cheating is borne here as well. You met her when u were 30 and she was 19, that's a stretch...now your peak is down and she wants a stronger dick! Go figure, get your ass in the gym!
This entry is fire Xilla!

Mr.MarcusX

BlogXilla · 1 year ago

hahaha yeah work is cheating zone number 1 but everyone wants to admit that there is no office love or say that they are against it! lol

404 · 1 year ago

Also, if the mate is unsupportive, a hell raiser or is lacking in domestic skills....to get him you assume all of the qualities that he/she does not have. Be supportive of the dreams and aspirations that they choose to share with you. Don't talk a lotta shit. Who wants to hear someone yappin in their ear all day about nothin?......exactly......and if you can do better than hamburger helper and grilled cheese, channel your inner G.Garvin or BeeSmith and cook a three or four course meal.

Then f*ck the sh*t outta them!!! It'll work........trust me.

BlogXilla · 1 year ago

lol i feel you sugar!! lol i mean a clean home can go a long way!! lol

M.Y. · 1 year ago

good entry! but I must say the overall reason why people cheat is a lot deeper; they cheat because they are immature mentally. Instead of having the empathy to break up with their significant other before they go out and do something that will hurt them they act selfishly. There is no excuse cause' honestly people who get sex on the regular still feel the need to cheat.

BlogXilla · 1 year ago

I don't think that is the case because I cheated and I don't THINK i was immature i just think i was frustrated because my house wasn't clean the sex wasnt great the conversation sucked and i just wanted happy. I didn't want to end the relationship for various reasons, not really that i was immature sometimes though it was merely immaturity...

M.Y. · 1 year ago

I say its immature because in my opinion cheating is immature behavior..the inability to be empathetic and not mature enough to control one's physical actions and stay commited. Not able to think about what will happen after sleeping around just concerned for that very moment,out for one's own good and not the greater good for both parties,

and if all those things were an issue you were suppose to end the relationship before you seeked affection else where... why stay in a situation where you are not happy? Unless that person had your soul in a vile and worshipped the devil him/herself you are not obligated to stay with them.

BlogXilla · 1 year ago

It could be numerous reasons to someone may want to stray but not leave... change, comfort, or kids... it's selfish more than it is being mature or not.

circa-81 · 1 year ago

That still doesn't really add up as immature. Highly mature people still break rules and cheat. I think I would agree with SheRa on the selfishness aspect.

M.Y. · 1 year ago

yes yes this is true and someone who is mentally mature would see no need or desire to cheat. Granted you may find someone to be attractive other than your significant other, it happens, actually acting on it is a different story.

A mentally mature person is able to weigh both the pros and cons before making a decision about any and everything a mentally immature person on the other hand acts on impulse without thought. Being able to understand what psychological detriment a person is causing the person they are with by cheating is what would cross the mind of a mentally mature individual. And yes you are right selfishness plays a huge part in cheating.

circa-81 · 1 year ago

Why would the mentally mature person weigh in the detriment of their significant other if they are not going to get caught? The feelings of the other person only come into play as a result of getting caught not the act of cheating. You may not want to admit this but cheating doesn't hurt anybody....getting caught is what brings on the negative feelings. Maturity is not a deterant for risk. Experience can be...but still really isn't a deterant for risk. And when it is something that is based on the pursuit of pleasure it depends on what character traits that person have. Do they like to live on the edge. Are they a pleaure junkie? Some people naturally aren't impulsive. You'll find that when it comes to cheating the personallity involved is more of calculating, mischevious, and deceiving culprit.

circa-81 · 1 year ago

"the personality involved is more of calculating, mischevious, and deceiving culprit."

i.e. Meaning that dealing with this type of person you won't even know what the hell is going on.

SheRa · 1 year ago

Maybe not immature...but selfish.

BlogXilla · 1 year ago

I can agree with the selfish notion. Because cheating is a very selfish act.

sexyma078 · 1 year ago

After you list all that what is left to stay for??

M.Y. · 1 year ago

as far as taking someone elses somebody..keep in mind Karma is a b*tch tread carefully, i am 100% against it.

Sher · 1 year ago

as far as taking someone elses somebody..keep in mind Karma is a b*tch tread carefully, i am 100% against it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Just felt this needed to be posted twice... word.

circa-81 · 1 year ago

Immaturity is a cop out. The main reason why people cheat is because they are greedy. They want' the cake...........and they'll eat it too. That's really what it comes down to. Any dude or female that is on this site and are attractive, got game, a head on their shoulders, and experience under their belt (in the late 20's like me). We all know we've played this game and been on both sides of the ball. I'm not going to sit here and give a theory or a hypothesis. I'm old enough tell you "what's what" plain and simple. I've been there and done that many times over. We all know about the late night creeps after the club. The rendevous in cities near you but far enough away that you won't get caught. Erasing text messages. Deleting phone calls. Changing the pass word to your email every few days. Like I said "been there and done that."

SassyScorpio · 1 year ago

I truly like this post, but I am confused as to why men agree to wait until marriage to have sex with you(speaking from experince) but still cheat? If its that serious by all means don't waste my time or emotions and just be up front...

circa-81 · 1 year ago

Hello............it makes it easier to wait. Me myself I would never ever ever agree to wait to marriage. But, let me see here...........are you saying after the engagement you make him wait to marriage or from the start he has to wait? If it's from the start I'll be up front that I'm not waiting. Got to test drive before you buy.

SassyScorpio · 1 year ago

It was before we ever did anything...we was both young and I had only been with one other person who cheated and got a friend of my pregnant...he made the decision to wait and 3 months in we got engaged and a month after he cheated. I would have respectef him more if he was up front and said he couldnt wait, but he was all for it we it was brought up.

circa-81 · 1 year ago

Well, Babe, you have to understand the nature of a man and more than anything else the times that we live in. I know a few dudes that tried to pull off the whole "we are going to wait unitl we get married" thing. It never works......first problem would be that you can't take a freak and make them abstainent (might be spelled wrong.) Second problem is you if you were having sex before then why isn't he good enough to get it and not wait till marriage (that's most likely the way that he was thinking.) Third there is no spontaneiy to abstaining from sex, there's no passion, and there's no satisfaction. The fourth problem and this probably should've been #1 on my mini list is he could've be afraid that you didn't even like sex. And no dude want's to be with a woman that doesn't like sex. Those are some of the main factors that end those type of arrangements.

SassyScorpio · 1 year ago

What ever it was turned out for the best....cuz we now are the best of friends (not with benefits) and I realized us in a relationship wouldn't have worked. Based on his constant need to cheat on just every woman after me.

Ant_from_Chi · 1 year ago

These comments would have gone great in the "Plummeting price of Pu$$y column the other day. Great points.

Sher · 1 year ago

um WOW...first I want to say I think this is almost sad..

If Im not getting enough sex or Im bored in a relationship..call me crazy, but the last thing I would do is go cheat.

And if Im single...and I decide I want to pop off with someone...the last thing I would do is get with someones man.

But thats just silly me.

ummmm · 1 year ago

"How To Take Her Man or His Girl"

first off let me just say I didnt read this post because the title is probably the most ignorant thing I read on this site (besides that freaky tales in the bible post a while back) but I skimmed thru a few comments and I just want to say to each its own but please remember KARMA is a b****, you dont need to take someone elses anything.... get and work for your OWN! that is all

I'm Just Me · 1 year ago

It's easier said than done. Yeah u work hard to get your own and then they up and doing something to betray your trust. At the end of the day, you end up hurt b/c of all the hard work u put into getting that person and trying to make the relationship work when no one is really obligated to anyone.

Look at the ratios out there. There's about 1 male to every 5 females. Now u take that and add in the guys who may be locked up, on the DL or married and that number becomes 1 male to every 8 females. It's inevitable, you're gonna end up sharing someone whether you like or not or whether you know about it or not.

And not for nothing...coming from a female who has dealt w/ other women's men in the past, I never took anything that didn't want to be taken. I never forced a man to be w/ me. He chose to lay down w/ me and to hang out w/ me.

just sayin · 1 year ago

what man would turn down a willing female that doesn't mind being shared? of COURSE he choose to lay with you and hang out with you, because YOU gave him that choice. But hey to each his/her own. Everyone believes in different things and if you choose to be with someone elses man a few comments in a blog wont change your mind.

I'm Just Me · 1 year ago

When I said I used to be one of those females who dated other women's men. The key word was "used".

I may have given a man that choice but I didn't put a gun to his head. Everything is FREE WILL. People make choices. For whatever reasons a man felt like he could hang w/ me or be with me was HIS choice.

Things could've been on the fence in the relationship. Maybe him being with me made him realize how much he loves and appreciates his woman. Or maybe he found out his girl was cheating w/ someone else. Whatever the reasons, I didn't make men do anything they didn't want to do already.

I'm tired of females acting self righteous like it's so wrong and immature and lacking integrity. There's two sides to ever story. Every body has been stepped out on. If u feel like you haven't then congrats b/c your man did a very good job at hiding it from you.

just sayin · 1 year ago

you sound bitter... I never said I was self righteous nor did I come at you sideways. The facts are this... it IS wrong... but everyone including me has done something wrong in their time and I'm not here judging. I said TO EACH HIS HER OWN. Just because I choose not to be with someone elses man/woman doesn't make me better then you. And just because everyone has been stepped out on doesn't make it right. I'm so sick of people who make excuses for other peoples mistakes. If you wanna f*ck someones man for WHATEVER reason then go for it. And that's not just to you it is to anybody reading this!

Kim · 1 year ago

Exactly. Anyone who cheats is lacking in character and integrity. And anyone who gives tips has questionable character and integrity as well.

sexyma078 · 1 year ago

Throw in a good meal now days...you can get any man ....ladies dont go off on me (cause if it aint you it's a friend) chicks don't cook no more!!! Bomb Pu*** is great but Bomb Pu**** and a baked chicken is a killa.