BlogXilla For Sexual Intellectuals - Latest Comments in How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Swtj — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 02:03:28 -0000

You touched on a lot of good points. Sending this link to my girl friends.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

MS. JAI — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 17:40:14 -0000

I AGREE

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

joebmore — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:43:36 -0000

Excellent job. This is an honest and mature post.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

MS. JAI — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:33:18 -0000

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE, I AGREE THERE'S A LOT OF NIGGAS OUT THERE THAT DON'T APPRECIATE WHEN A WOMAN GOES ABOVE AND BEYOND 2 PLEASE THEM, BUT THERE'S STILL SOME GOOD DUDES OUT THERE (SOMEWHERE ANYWAYS). U JUST HAVE 2 STAND UR GROUND AND KNOW WHAT KIND OF MAN U WANT AND DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS. DON'T GIVE UR ALL 2 SOMEONE WHO DON'T DESERVE IT, GOD BLESS DESSALUVU

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

dessaluvu — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:24:29 -0000

I did all that shit and still feel unappreciated, now who the hell is there for me, nobody

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

nynikki — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:14:36 -0000

I agree that these simple things also work for keeping a woman happy. This post is a good outline for any solid relationship between 2 people. I would "bold" the 2 people part if I knew how (lol), because women shouldn't have to carry the weight alone.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

MS.JAI — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:59:15 -0000

I THINK ITS JUST AMAZING HEAD GAME AND LOOKS, ESPECIALLY LOOKS WHAT ELSE DO A NIGGA WANT LOL

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Michsi — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:21:13 -0000

* Standing Ovation *

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Michsi — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:19:21 -0000

Well I honestly understand what you saying, but the last guy I dated he was a Musician , very supportive or him following his dream, even through he honestly couldnt do anything for me but offer me a friendship. , We never got into arguments, but then all of a sudden he told me to leave, because he was still in love with his baby mother. She dumped him two days laters, and all of a sudden he started repeating that I was all those things that you listed, but he was just blinded by her, and it was a mistake...So to me, that was on him. I would like to say that I was waiting on like that "coming to America" type because I wasn't. I was supportive of him, very understanding...alot of those good things.

Now me personally everything was fine. Then i found out he was Bi-polar, and not medicated, and a functioning alcholic. I mean i felt like I never had a chance in the first place once I found all those things out. So instead of saying alot of men, i will say some. Some men will never be pleased, so don't know what to do with a good women, and some just don't give a damn. I still know there are good men out there, though but like you said before, there are so many ppl out here, and as long as I am able to get to know them. I'm not settling yet. I feel like as long as I'm not sleeping with everyone that "im getting to know" then I can be choosy also as far as who i settle with. Whoever I settle down with has to be worth it.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

HappyToBeNappy — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 07:58:30 -0000

Great post Xilla. I think men need to realize the same thing about women though. . . for the most part it really is that simple for us too!

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

bknychick86 — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:12:38 -0000

i very much agree...I would wonder from time to time, after i find out that man at the time have cheated on me over a stupid conflict we are having, when instead of going to another female, why he couldnt come to me to talk about is and solve it? Basically if a real man cant do that, he is mostly a lil boy trying to play games, even the older men...

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Mr.G — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:20:23 -0000

If you dealing with a man that has a facebook page...'Ditch that nigga'. Unless he's truly 'networking' that site will be his downfall, regardless of the intentions that he uses it for. At least in my opinion, the time wasted by niggas on that, could be spent making money, reading a book, writing a thesis etc, etc.

Back to the matter at hand, yes, a lot of us men, 'want our cake, and eat it to' or however the saying goes. It's a maturity issue and until we put away those 'player' like wants and needs from our woman, her, nor him will be happy.

All a man, real man, wants is: A woman to be there at the end of the day. You as a woman are the fulcrum to the balance in our lives. When the stress of being a man, a black man at that, out here in this world begins to weigh us down, you step in and reassure us that it'll be alright. That even, 'When the money goes' you'll still be there. A woman who acknowledges when her man is working hard, not to praise him as you would a dog, but to commend him as you would a successful person striving to achieve something. A woman who will be a freak, with us, but wise enough to not show off too much of 'the goods', when our boys come to the house. Yes, sit and watch the game with us...but don't be afraid to jump up and demand attention by stripping away your clothing seductively while standing right in front of the tv (if you do that, fuck the game, score, who's playing...it dont matter no more!)

And yes MzVirgo if we ask this of you, we definitely need to obliged you all by fulfilling your needs in return. Basically what you should take away from everything my man Xilla posts on here, is that communication is key, especially in regards to a relationship. As for the jumpoff/side chick...shut up while i watch the game :)

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Mr.G — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:01:46 -0000

All very true...But I think we, as men, make a lot of excuses for ourselves in regards to this 'cheating' issue. Now fellas' listen before you start trying to lynch a nigga.

At the end of the day, we decide whether we want/choose to cheat or not. More often than not, instead of coming to your main chick/shorty with the issue at hand, we figure the solution is to just have a chick on the side who doesn't do what it is that we don't like.

True, we all 'need love' just like LL spoke about, but we also need to speak up...and that's some real shit. If not, it won't matter if your woman can get to your heart...cause you ain't thinking with it.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

ALMiss — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:58:52 -0000

I'm loving this post Xilla! I actually think I saw a different side of you through this...great job.

Like rochelle said, reading this shows that it takes pretty much the same things to get to woman's heart as it does a man's. Getting to a man's just takes a little less. Reading this post helped me see how past relationships failed because I lacked a few of these things, but luckily I am growing daily to better myself for me and my future man. I do believe I possess all of these qualities, I just have to actually show them and act on them. Thanks for this post, Xilla. It shed a whole new light on men. :)

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Blacksand — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:31:34 -0000

I am sorry to hear that. But there is still hope.:o) The one true constant in life is change. Be easy True2me!

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Guest — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:12:54 -0000

Thats true about not needing a book. Sometimes you don't really see stuff clearly unless you focus on other sources.

My point is once I got my mind right, acknowledge the type of dudes I attract things become super simple. I got to go after what I want rather then settling with what I don't want. You can't play a good game blind.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Guest — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:04:59 -0000

---

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

Reptile214 — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:54:02 -0000

I agree with you on everything you said.

But I have another factor thats important to me.
Be a woman, and follow MY Lead.

I lead the way, some women are so used to being without a man they don't know how to let a man lead. I understand you're independant and doing things on your on; that's fine when you are on your on. But when you are in a relationship, you have to learn to fall back and trust that what that man says or does is right for the both of you.

And I'm not talking about getting with a controlling man; if you can't tell the difference in a man thats is the head and a control freak. Bless your heart.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

MzVirgo — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:52:49 -0000

Xilla you're crazy! But when it comes to dating, either you like them or you toss their resume in the garbage.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

BlogXilla — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:43:48 -0000

The P**SY/P*NIS Payment Plan or PPP

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

BlogXilla — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:42:53 -0000

I hope so too, i mean we all deserve love right? We just need to understand our roll in the break up.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

rochelle — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:34:40 -0000

I really like this post.Always good to know what a man wants,from a man. So many woman think its their looks and AMAZING head game(which helps)will keep a man.In reading this i did find out that a way to a mans heart is the same to a woman's heart but in a less complicated way if that makes sense to you. Once again good post. I learned something from it hopefully other women do.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

MzVirgo — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:33:03 -0000

"trying girls out"......I agree pretty much. Dating guys these days is like a job interview. Only there isn't a three month period lol.

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

crystal — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:28:35 -0000

like that last line its not you it him lol! sure was the person regretted it in the end

Re: How To Play The Game So You Won’t Get Dumped

MzVirgo — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:26:04 -0000

So Xilla, I'm feeling you on all of these things. But what if we do all of those things that you've mentioned in the blog and to the man, it's still not enough? I mean, you want space, but then you want us to be there for you (not you personally). You want a freak (or be more freaky), but then you want her to be ladylike. You want her to be like a homey and watch sports with you, but you don't want her to be too much like a guy where she doesn't have femininity. It's almost as if men want it all, but they are not willing to give as much back and/or they don't know how to handle it when we are everything you have asked for. Then the next thing you know, they are posting "questions of the day" on Facebook complaining that they don't have anyone to be with. I'm not saying that men or women should lower their standards. But make up your mind as to what it is you want.