DISQUS

2facedGemini · 8 months ago

To go along with the no ex-girlfriend thing....and the "Why are you still single?" it's kind of like when you're interviewing for a job and you were fired or laid off from the last one: Always have something positive to say about the previous experience and move on to the next subject. You don't look bitter or negative, but you don't look like you're avoiding the subject either.

Don't be negative and pitiful. It's a date, have fun. I don't want to hear about how skinny jeans are the death of the modern male and then hear about how homophobic you are for the rest of the date, or about how sisters never/brothas always/"the man" is so/I hate cheetah girls/My dad was never around so I never got to blah blah blah and so on (True effin' story....never had a 2nd date with the guy)

Don't act like you're in love before the appetizer is served. There's chemistry and then there's "I'm so dsperate for [pussy/attention/affection/whatever] that I'm going to turn it on REAL thick so she knows that I want her"

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

Standing Ovation!!!

I give this comment a 10!

streetz · 8 months ago

Wow. Common sense prevails! Great post!

honeybrown · 8 months ago

i def agree with the talking about ex's! this guy i was talking to ALWAYS brought up his kid's mother and couldnt understand why i hopped out the car so fast when he pulled up to my house. nobody wants to talk about why your relationship failed unless they inquired about it.

babydoll · 8 months ago

That whole talking and not letting me say a word happened to me this weekend. He even caught himself and was like "let me shut up so I can see where your heads at." At that point I was so into my food i told him, naw i am good, keep going i like to learn and rolled my eyes discreetly and went right back into my food. His clueless ass kept right on going too. But I was tapped outta that convo from the jump. Good food though!!!

streetz · 8 months ago

See, thats a problem. A lot of brothers dont pick up on non verbal comunication and then it all falls down (c) Kanye.

Did you drop any more hints? lolol

You used the "im fine" term and he didnt catch that? wow...smh

babydoll · 8 months ago

LOL, my body language was horrible too, that should of been another hint. He had has arm around me and i had my legs crossed away from him with one arm folded on my lap, like a barrier...Obviously I was not feeling dude at all....I just needed that meal!! lol

Pre date though, we talked on the phone fomr MONTHS and you just never really get a feel for someone until u hang out with them, vibe wasn't there...oh well NEXT! ......well your cute....let me stop lol

Jonelle · 8 months ago

Over Groping is another turn off. You are just getting to know someone, don't be so touchy feely! One guy I talked to wanted to hold my hand while I was driving! ARE YOU SERIOUS! We just met.

streetz · 8 months ago

Keep it real though. Over groping is only an issue when dude isn't attractive. if hes attractive he's "very active with his hands" or "loves to touch, don't you?"

If hes ugly its "Stop gropin me!" lololol

MissSexED · 8 months ago

I cannot stand being touched like that!!!! Ugh! And even if you are attractive, it makes me think you just want to beat...which may be the truth.

I went out on this date to the movies and there was this couple sitting beside us and I overheard him say to her, "So what type of music do you like?" So I tapped my dude and was like, "aww they're on their first date...how cute!" Of course he looked at me like, "Who gives a damn"

But 20 min later i looked over there (being nosy) and he was rubbing all up her thigh...and she had a dress on. I was just thinking damn shame. I guess that's how she get's down on a first date.

streetz · 8 months ago

Theres a difference between casual touching and trying to massage the Vajayjay! lolol. THats just unheard of.

A woman can silently tell you if she wants you to touch or wants you to play your position. Dudes have to be in tune with that as well.

So Miss Sex Ed, you're a voyeur too? All up in peoples first date. You broke out the camera phone too? :-p lol

MissSexED · 8 months ago

You know I'll break out that camera phone. But naw I didn't...not that night

streetz · 8 months ago

So if I see a twitpic from you spying on dates I'd like a captiont hat reads:

"Yes @streetztalk I took the picture! So?!!"

lolol

MissSexED · 8 months ago

Next time I take a pic period I'm going to put @streetztalk on it

streetz · 8 months ago

Why does this post concern me? Hopefully its not somethin foul, lol!

MissSexED · 8 months ago

I'll make it concern you! & it won't be foul ;-)

Ness · 8 months ago

@ Jonelle,

Tht happened to me once. It was a 1st date & he wanted to hold hands walking from the car to the restaurant.

I couldn't do it. I told him that we weren't on that level and I only feel the need to do tht w/ someone I'm 'intimate' with or know more about.

J. McFly · 8 months ago

Looks good to me, more dudes need to hear this.

Erica · 8 months ago

You hit it right on the nose!!! Texting and not paying on the first date....smh...that would be the last date for me.

*Crissie · 8 months ago

so this is so unbelievably true its not even funny. definitely feelin the - lack of home training- part. that will send a good woman right home before the check comes......

Ms. A · 8 months ago

If a guy looks at his phone more than once during a date...its a demerit! No bueno.
I definitely understand the BB-Syndrome but if I am doing my best not to bbmsg my bff and tell her OMG he's sweet or IDK about the shoe choice...then you can hold off. Reciprocity is the word for the day!

streetz · 8 months ago

Yo Ms A can I tell you that its a conscious effort on my part to stop texting. There was one time a female friend had a mini crisis and hit me up. Told her I was on a date and she replies "and?!!" and starts to drop the numerous times she was ther for me, in under 140 characters! lol.

I texted her for like 5 mins on n off and let my date know the situation. She understood, and I was able to help a friend at the same time, but if you can't multitask, understanding or not, dudes will LOSE.

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

TOO many compliments!

Yes we like to know that we are attractive to you but it can be overdone and there's a point where it just gets creepy.

MissSexED · 8 months ago

LMAO! So true. It gets to the point where I have to say, "Stop staring at me like that you weirdo."

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

LOL!!!

And you don't wanna be conceited but you can really start thinkin to yourself..."How did I get here, I'm way outta his league"

streetz · 8 months ago

hahahahha

im mad u sd

"I know im fly but, don't watch me, watch TV"

I feel u though. If he's just starin thats a classic case of the weirdo.

Dont give him the AIM/Gchat/Twitter!

streetz · 8 months ago

also, if a dude is str8 complimenting you the entire night, then thats G, and bad G at that!

Women still fall for it though, smh.

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

I don't know who or how...it gets to be annoying at a certain point

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

LOL -

Oh hellz no, he gets nada AND he gets put on the blocked caller list

streetz · 8 months ago

Well Im glad for that. LOL

I dont understand how woman ccan adore all that massive compliment ish... not seeing through it. smh

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

You actually bring up a good point cause there are two types of overcomplimenters

The type that are not in your league but somehow got in under the radar, LOL, and can't believe they did it so they're unable to play it off and just control themselves

AND

The guy that's just tryin to flatter his way into your panties

streetz · 8 months ago

Dont act like in both cases that dude aint tryin to hit! lolol

SaTownHoney · 8 months ago

AGREED! I had one guy who kept staring in my face and saying "you so damn pretty" thanx but no thanx...you're giving me the willies! That same guy ended up becoming obsessed with me and having to be threatened by my dad! smh

Phoenix06 · 8 months ago

Great Article..Whats sad is that most of these things are common sense if you've been RAISED right. The real question is how have these dudes been gettin girls B4. I mean Ladies you say in your comments that would be the first and last date, but someone has been giving those men positive affirmations as to their actions.

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

You're right...

@ "but someone has been giving those men positive affirmations as to their actions"

That would be the desperate, standard-free women who don't know any better than to accept these behaviors

Phoenix06 · 8 months ago

And there in lies another one of our eternal questions WHICH CAME FIRST " the self-absorbed inconsiderate over eager blowhard or the self-esteem lacking, desperate for anyone to love her, insecure girl." Hmmmmm sounds like another article...Streetz get on it....lol

streetz · 8 months ago

Maybe these dudes aint gettin past date #1?

Ness · 8 months ago

@ Streetz,

yeah they're not getting past date #1....all they do is move on to the next female only to be rejected.

No one is calling them out on the sh*t that they do on the date so they don't see the wrong in it.

And guys don't feel like they're being rejected b/c they keep going on numerous dates with different women. The only thing is that it never goes past the 1st date.

streetz · 8 months ago

Its the law of averages baby! u cant get turn down 100 times, can you? lolol

I've seen some MAJOR crash n burns though. Dudes need Hitch, fa reel

Ness · 8 months ago

yeah...u can get get turned down 100 times depending on how u look at it.

How many times did Ms SexEd turn home boy down b4 she actually went out w/ him....then he f*cked up and he got turned down several more times after she told him how he messed up. Tht's a lot of times.

You take that and add about 50 more females and the same situation he went thru w/ Ms Sex Ed and he's gonna get turned down 100 times :)

L · 8 months ago

J,

why are single dudes dating in the first place?

when i was single - i NEVER dated...
catch and release...

it was "movies back at the crib"
or..."i'll cook for you....at the crib"

only take a woman out if you sense she is potentially a real prospect...
but if it's about the a** - i pity the fool that is breakin' bread to be on some 1 date, 2 dates, 3 dates, 4...

take.it.back.to.the.crib...

and if you can't close on that level - come rock with us down in phila for a month...we still offer our course - 1st two weeks free...


- L

Ness · 8 months ago

@ Phoenix

Nah not really.....if he doesn't get a call back then he has no clue as to what went wrong so he will continue to do the crzy BS on dates b/c he doesn't know any better and no one called him out on his BS yet and told him that he lacks dating skills.

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

You are so right, but most people won't reveal where the offender went wrong because they are just too disgusted with the whole thing and wanna forget it and the offender probably won't believe them anyway...

Men and women both need to develop the art of "Self Analyzation"

Sometimes it's ok and appropriate to ask yourself "what the f*ck is wrong with me?" and then retrace your steps, try to figure out where you're goin wrong...shyt, phone a friend if you're unsure...LOL

Ness · 8 months ago

Exactly...I self analyze and work based on that.
I also make it a point to ask all my ex's wht problems they had w/ me so that I can fix it for myself and the next person.

Phoenix06 · 8 months ago

That why i wrote what I wrote. I think Self-Analyzation is just natural. but i'm realizin that its just me. Anything i do the next time I'm wondering how to do it better. I mean i'm lookin at the other person to see body language and subtle cues. Now if I'm bored or I realize its a fail then i'm trying to wrap this up. Yeah we need a blog on How women fail on the first date...Can You go from being a Potential to bein a Smash in one date?

Funny tho when you look at some reality shows I hear my boys saying why the F*ck did he do that or say that...and i'm like Shyt you b doin the same thing...lol.


Sometimes its easier to point out the flaws in other than to see them in yourself.

Lady Jei · 8 months ago

That would be the difference between a woman, and a girl. Again, another blog entirely.

Girls who are dating these boys who allow this will continue to do so, because that is all they both know.

As a grown women of a certain stature, if you don't come correct, I will pay my own check, check his ass, and drive off on the 3rd lane of the West Side Highway.

MzVirgo · 8 months ago

@ Streetz, great post!

I didn't go on a date, but there was a guy who would have been a potential if he wasn't so conceited! He was looking in the mirror and was trying to pass off jokes on how good he looked and that he was the best looking person there at the lounge.

@ Head Mistress, yes too many compliments can be overwhelming. Same guy who was looking in the mirror was overcomplimenting me and kept asking if I was sure I wasn't a model. Huh?

HeadMistress · 8 months ago

LMAO!!!! Gotta love the "model" compliment...LOL

streetz · 8 months ago

LOL @ u sure your not a model. Tell dude the 70s esque compliments can go ---> way!

CONFESSION I am a mirror whore. Not so much to appreciate my countenance, but I always want to make sure I'm on point. I can get caught up, you know how people look around like "Oh shyt was I staring @ myself?" hahahahaha! I'm exagerrating but I don't do it in front of people like that, unless we cool, lolol jk.

native · 8 months ago

streetz dont put the pussy on a pedestal. i concur with most rules but they are common sense. all im saying is don't put the pussy on a pedestal, if cats aint getting call backs for dates they are tridash. Bad chics are settling for wack dudes, so if your not pulling em back, your trash!!!!!!!! TRASH I TELL YOU

streetz · 8 months ago

If sense was common everyone would have it my dude. That's whats sad, lol

Lady Jei · 8 months ago

I would be so inclined to find out why you would reduce a woman to "the pussy". But by looking at your choice of words ("tridash", "pulling em back"), maybe I don't, lol.

That's the other part of the problem and another blog entirely.

radio the rahim · 8 months ago

how about this whole article is a big DISREGARD if the first date is at my house.

LOL

Breezy · 8 months ago

i wanna send this post to aaaallllll my males friends. some dudes just dont and will never get it.
i remember when my ex and i went out to eat once, dude surely ordered ribs AND proceeded to lick his fingers. ugh.. thats slightly acceptable when we're @ the crib but in public?!? and he spilled sauce on his shirt.. that relationship was dooomed.

EbonyLolita · 8 months ago

Co-sign on the entire thing. Brothers please tek notes :)

Janee · 8 months ago

I agree with everything!! I remember the time a dude had begged me to go out with him. When i did he couldnt wait to touch my me..straight turn off, then on top of that he took me to mcdonalds for "dinner" and couldnt even afford to buy me a meal...long story short..i bought my OWN meal and sat there with him while he watched me eat, and had the nerve to ask for me to leave a lil for him! I swear this generation is a mess!

streetz · 8 months ago

You have to be jokin! Mickey Dees?! Did yall ever mess around b4 this? Dude was hella comfy to take you to the golden arches

Janee · 8 months ago

We never messed around at all before...and this was his brilliant idea of the perfect first date..go figure! I swear this is the type of shit these Bmore men are on. They are all about Mc D's and Wendys

streetz · 8 months ago

Now if he would've took you to WAWA or Waffle house, then that would be ideal. Wendys and Mc Ds is sooo 1990

Lady Jei · 8 months ago

Kudos to eSPECial!!! Very nice blog post.

My current beau took me to get ice cream on our first date. And we sat by the water and talked. The best date of my life. And I did give him a kiss as I walked to the train station. Our first kiss.

But for me by the first time I have a first date we have talked for quite a while so I already know there will be a second, third, etc.

High 5 eSPECial!!!

yes · 8 months ago

I guess I'm the only one that wants to know about the ex. lol I just need to know she is definitely out of the picture. Especially if it's a baby mama......

What I don't like about texting is when guy's use it trying to get to know you before the date has even been made. I'm gonna need u to learn how to hit dial. I don't want to text you a whole conversation!