BlogXilla For Sexual Intellectuals - Latest Comments in 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Kim — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 19:18:19 -0000

Jittauni I totally agree.
And you wonder why is it that the black family structure is so fucked up today. If a woman tell a guy that she has kids, the man will react as if she has Ebola. Whats funny is that alot of single fathers will bust out with the baby pictures thinking thats supposed to score him some points with the ladies.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

dub — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:49:43 -0000

Well #1 you can rule out because she already had the baby... so if u like what u see post delivery, chances are she's all good!

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Jittauni — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:40:57 -0000

This is the most ignorant piece of sh*t I have ever read. I don't even have kids and I'm offended. I mean does the same go for single fathers? Do we look at them like their contaminated?! No, for the most part we applaud a man who takes care of his own seed but when a woman does it she's undateable. BS!

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

kyas_mami — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:00:33 -0000

PREACH!!!!

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

ANuJS — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 14:32:14 -0000

What about the men that have about 5 different baby mommas....where picking up the kids from their motherS house can take all damn day.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Sherine — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:44:24 -0000

As a female with no kids, I totally understand and I can respect it.
Ive tried dating men with kids.. and its interesting to say the least.

What I find HIGHLY entertaining...is MEN with kids..Who dont like dating WOMEN with kids...
Makes no sense to me.

Ive just found for me, its about having someone who can offer me exactly what I can offer them. After me, thats basically it, so If I meet a man and it gets serious.. He can be a priority in my world.. When dating my ex.. It was him, his son, ofcourse the baby mama..and then me.

I promised myself I would NEVER do that to myself again. I deserve more than that. Interesting blog indeed.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Slim Goodie — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:39:56 -0000

And my thing is that you are still attracted to her. (New Blog) Guys that love deadbeat women!
She doesn't work, she's preparing for school, (school started in August you know).
How will she support her kids while in school with no job? If she's on welfare that's fine and none of my business, but these women kill me with no job, kids, don't even WANT to do anything with themselves and guys are all over them.
Why do you like her, and it seems as if you are hurt that she puts you on the back burner. Please be honest, if your whipped then that's what it is. I'm just curious.... You seem pretty decent!

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Slim Goodie — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:29:57 -0000

LOL, Naija You are funny. That was good Tho....

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

JMK — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 12:20:02 -0000

Well right now she has no job cause she is preparing for school. In all honesty I understand the priorities but the real problem is that she doesn't do much. And the babysitter thing is usually after she says she wants to hang out etc, then when the time comes she can't find a sitter. Thats why I say that. I can deal with not having all her free time etc, but its when you know she is hangin out with another dude over you when she has that free time ocassionally. I understand friends are friends, but when time is limited (and yes I work nights so she has the ability to hang out with friends when I am working), and she chooses not to hang out thats when I have the problem.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

kyas_mami — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 11:53:51 -0000

As a single mom I have to admit, you have some very valid points here Xilla. These are some of the things I was most concerned with, when I decided I was ready to start dating again. My boyfriend has children so I think it was a little easier for him to understand the different things that could come up that might prevent me from giving him my undivided attention and things like that. When we started dating I made sure that he understood that I was in no way looking for a "replacement" father for my daughter, I think that it's very important to get that out of the way as early as possible so it doesnt come back to bite you in the ass later. Dating for single parents can be very scary, but it's alot easier when the other party involved is mature, secure within themselves, and if they have kids themselves

I also want to say that the "tag you're it" point is SOME BULL!!! My daughters BIOLOGICAL father has never been a part of her life, we broke up when I was 3 mos pregnant... I didnt want to file for child support on him because I KNEW that once he found out he would quit whatever job he had, and I didnt WANT shit from his ass, but because I was getting assistance I HAD to. Not every woman wants to hit a nigga for child support just because she can... besides I didnt even kno you could do some ish like that and i LiVE in Cali

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

what? — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 11:08:09 -0000

Why are you still talking to her if she has this endless amount of dudes in her life?

And how the hell is she finding time to do all of that? It all has to do with the woman's priorities. Honestly by the time I'm done with work and doing everything for my child that I have to do when I get home I don't feel like kicking it, or going through the trouble of getting a babysitter. But thats neither here nor there, JMK I don't think this single mother is feeling you...

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Cishma — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 01:25:15 -0000

now y u go and start this mess again??? damn can of worms is what it is....

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

2Sassy — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 00:32:53 -0000

Im sorry, I'm a women with no kids...and in general, if I were a man I'd never date a woman with kids. So sorry {in my best Korean voice when the don't have your color hair (yours, not mine. I rock it too natural)}! And the ladies on here with the strongest views are the same ones who seem to be doing a spectacular job. Don't be so mad and try not to take it personal. It's bigger than you and I know, I know...yall gonna hit me with some anger but the fact remains the same...people with children have a bunch of extra responsibilities that a single person with no kid can wait to take on. (And this goes for both sexes, too.) Don't judge me..hahaa

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

JMK — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:23:33 -0000

I am a dude talking to a single mom right now. I agree with some points and feel the babysitter one for sure. Sometimes I feel like she just doesn't want to hang out, not that she can't but doesn't try. Anatomy is still good, and luckily in this picture the father has been out of the picture for awhile. With the kid since we aren't together I have no say and respect that but will talk to her about that before we are serious, so I do not get the "your not my dad" etc.

Real problem I have found though is that 1. she uses the kid against you. and 2. She seems to talk to an endless number of guys (since I have morals I feel bad for her kid cause she has all these guys in her life). So I guess in a way it isnt the single mother aspect that the problem but instead the fact that she still act like a whore (something that is universal, mom or no children)

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

hmm — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:09:08 -0000

I thought Necole Bitchie did a list for the baby daddies soon after Xilla originally did this post... hers was really good. there seems to be a lot of recycled post floating around here lately. o well

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

BABY_T — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:29:26 -0000

Some of your points are valid xilla but what about guys with kids. I think some men have alot of crazy ass issues. I am so sick and tired of men telling me oh i am single but have kids with different women I might add, and they swear up and down they dont have baby momma drama but the bitch calls your phone wanting to know how do you know "her man". Women are like men also, once you lay down with them and you two have kids that dick is still theirs regardless. And ni**@s will still hit it because they still have access to it. I am so sick of men with crazy ass baby momma issues, but in this day and age it is so hard to meet someone that doesn't have kids.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

NaijaWifey — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:52:26 -0000

SLIM GOODIE,

YOU HIT THE DAMN, NAIL ON THE HEAD....

XILLA YOU AND YOUR IGNORANT POST HAVE BEEN WORKING MY NERVES FOR THE PAST WEEK.....

I TRULY FEEL FOR THE THICK, SINGLE MOMMAS TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING, YOU ARE ABOUT TO PUSH THEM OFF THE BRIDGE!

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

Good Girl Staying Good — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:09:56 -0000

I agree with you about the selfish part. I can not and will not share anything, and this includes MY man. I do not take in orphans and I refuse to date a male that comes with accessories (aka child(ren)). It is all about me and only me, not me, him, baby, baby mother, baby mother's friends and baby mother's family. I just can't do it and I salute the people who do. Broken families are problems and I dont need that problem mixed in with MY life.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

tay — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:00:32 -0000

Ok, first I'd like to say "well dam", and secondly.. I am a single mother and truthfully, honestly none of those 13 reasons apply to me. I am grateful and fortunate enough to be real as they have ever came, have lots of family (always willing to spend time w/my lil one), have more than enough of my own money, and my "baby daddy" is happily married which Im thanking god for.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

LawdHaveMercy — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:08:59 -0000

LOL..That's not 13 reasons,that's only 5,now see why is there more reasons not to date a single mother?

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

mzvirgo — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:05:05 -0000

Ooooohhh Xilla...

Even though you didn't write this, I remember this one all too well. And I have no kids.

But if the roles were reversed and I said I didn't want a man with kids, then they would be just as offended. True story, I said that to a guy, not knowing he had kids and he got all in my face like, "what's wrong with a man with kids?? I have kids, I take care of them, blah blah". They kill me with that statement with the "I take care of my kids", as if it were to make the situation any better. You're supposed to take care of your kids!!

But I just feel like people have preferences and there are some people out there who don't mind dating a man or a woman who has kids. I have tried it, but the truth was, his kids were a priority. Always has been and always will be.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

BlogXilla — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:00:41 -0000

That's a link**

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

BlogXilla — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:00:17 -0000

I'm a step ahead of you you wish is my command

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

LawdHaveMercy — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:54:23 -0000

SO CAN WE GET A POST CALLED 13 REASONS NOT TO DATE BABY DADDIES OR SINGLE FATHERS? TELL YOUR BROTHER TO COME UP WITH THAT LIST.

Re: 13 Great Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers

BlogXilla — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:48:49 -0000

That's right I have 2 kids but note to all -- "It was crafted by my brother after a conversation at work. So here you go 13 reasons to avoid dating single mothers."

and if i just sat here and posted stuff we all agreed upon there would be no need to debate.